Aaaayyyyyyyyyy

FEED ME A STRAY CAT

The boomer mind simply cannot comprehend that email addresses are not case sensitive

I seriously believe that Disney adults should be summarily executed.

To the tune of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen:

"Diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrhea, diarrheeeeeeaaaa."

Dropping off the paperwork to change my middle name to "hot sauce"

That's me alright

Coworker got written up and is mad so everywhere he goes he's stomping his feet like a child. I hate a toxic work environment as much as the next person but good god it's just so funny.

Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? Well my clam chowder brings all the aging divorcees to the porch. Tell me what he did to you babes. I'm here to listen. ♥️

By the way, I will never forgive Israel for their genocide of the Palestinian people, and every person who worships Israel is guilty by association.

Headed down to the funeral home to clap some widow cheeks. It being Wednesday and all.

Yeah I'm a bathroom boy

@wyofile.com please feature my story from my pinned post. I desperately need your assistance.

@wyofile.com please feature my story. I need you desperately. This is not a romance scam this time and I'm sorry.

Suffice it to say, KHOL 97.1FM in Wyoming, your days are numbered.

Initially I thought it was weird that all of the correspondence from the Etsy witch was postmarked from the state psychiatric hospital but I don't really know a lot about contract law.

I bought a magic spell from an Etsy witch that's supposed to help me win my case in court. Apparently if I wear all my clothes inside out and end every sentence with the magical phrase "squanch flampers," I'll be guaranteed to win.

@man.without.dog will be representing me in court because every other major law firm in Laramie County has me blacklisted because of the whole "prank calling the airport" thing I did from 2002-2011. As if that's a crime??? I have rights.

In 2012 I won $350 cash and tickets to see Susan Boyle at the Cheyenne Civic Center in a radio contest and they never came in the mail. KHOL 91.7FM in Jackson, Wyoming, expect a letter from my attorney.

Love you buddy

As you bloody well should

What if I ripped off my own butt and threw it at you. What then.

butt snot, what light through yonder window breaks

My man goonin' for the 'goon 🤜🤛

Don't make me whip you like a jockey

I agree. But does @horsedisc.bsky.social

In case no one has told you today, you are loved, you are wanted, there's a place for you in this world, Israel is an illegitimate state that should not exist, and I am grateful that you're my friend. ♥️

It's my safe word when we play naughty doctor and boy is that word impossible to say with a ball gag in place.

SPHYGMOMANOMETER

Starin' in disbelief, out at the gloom
I was forced with remorse to learn the bassoon.