Tom Elden

?????????

Oh, no thank you!

i’m not saying she shouldn’t be but it’s kinda nuts barbara walters is still alive. i just googled it while writing this to check and it turns out she’s not, but im already at the end of this post. rest in peace barbara walters

Seems like a waste of time to keep teaching history in schools when there are so many Assassin’s Creed games available now

me: alright i need to do some serious cleaning. please do not try to sneak into the room full of dangerous chemicals that could kill you

the cat, internally narrated by ray liotta: ever since i was a kid i knew i wanted to go into the room full of dangerous chemicals that could kill me

What makes this extra funny and pathetic is that Elon has come out stridently against remote working in the past, when as the CEO of three companies he is currently by definition working from home for three jobs right now

Jimmy Carter's life was bookended by the publication of The Great Gatsby and the rap battle between Drake and Kendrick, and I think that's beautiful.

I’ve just learned that every number up to 314 has its own individual Wikipedia page and I have so many questions about the lives of the people who maintain them

Started watching the Vardy v Rooney show and they're literally just acting out the court transcripts. Boring! I wanted, like, a scene where Colleen storms into a room to talk to whatever potato man they’ve cast as Wayne and screams “HOW’D SHE GET ME FUCKIN TEKKKHHHXTS”

Hour 46. The calendar is long gone.

I’m 33 hours into my latest attempt to quit nicotine and I’ve already eaten half of my advent calendar

But down in your arms, in your arms
I am a wild creature

Ron, that is so not the ketamine experience. You’re much more likely to think you’re dying on the bathroom floor of a Brooklyn podcaster’s terrible apartment

I’m kinda fed up with all this breathless speculation about something that will literally never happen. Becoming president means being hated by at least half the country, and the Rock’s need to be liked by everyone is even more pathological than mine, which is saying something.

The open beak of a swan, mostly. Possibly an epiglottis somewhere. In the far right, the swan’s partner looks on disapproving. An afternoon sun low in the sky. Arakawa Shizen Park.

Holy fuck a swan just tried to eat my camera.

[Cat standing up and peeing out of its ass] Your Home Smells like Cat Pee? Try This

that just made it worse!!

people love to do the "movies men miss the point of" thing about fight club and american psycho but I actually think there is something really genuinely appealing about their shared theme of doing violence to jared leto

Fantastic piece about the sad, slow death of Twitter at the hands of the neediest man in the world

on top of everything else we’re back to constant exposure to the weirdest guys with the weirdest mouths and weirdest posture, holding childrens’ junk food, unable to compose their bodies for camera in normal human ways, “smiling” like it hurts, and yet basement chuds will shout “ALL HAIL THE ALPHAS”

Threads is a pretty nice app but it has too much of a ‘Christian rock’ vibe to be a true replacement for classic Twitter. Hoping to find a new home here for my preferred social media diet of freaks and sickos.