KAFUI 🇬🇭

“Why does my baby keep dropping his pizza on the floor and laughing?”

“How long before children stops discovering mundane things?”

“Baby smiling for no reason”

“Tips to stop staring baby”

“Why does my infant love dragonfruit, as my mother did?”

“What to do when child goes no-contact?”

“Gimme all the shoddy jugs with XXX printed on em and nobody gets hurt”

I’m calling for a complete halt on referring to your tits as “milkers” facetiously until this man is safely out of office.

Lmao

I wish he were doing a weird, scary CrossFit pull-up instead, I really would have enjoyed that.

Striding confidently, and with perfect posture, towards Bethlehem

Do not go gentle into that good night. Knuck if you buck, against the dying of the light.

It's very funny when NPR is
interviewing an expert in something and it all feels fairly normal and evenhanded and then at the end they're like "and that was Christopher Halliburton from the Center for Exploding Venezuela"

They should have a sliding scale based on innate goodness-badness.

if ai is so good why is there no bj?

🙏🏾🙏🏾

I appreciate this so much lmao

Subverted in 1) The Sparrow and 2)
Children of God by Mary Doria Russell

Yeah they have an expiration date longer than milk but shorter than a carton of eggs, sadly.

Pls link!

Yeah I’m supeerrrr allergic to dust, so throw in a really hearty HEPA filter and I’m in.

mystery novel that clears the butler of any wrongdoing in the first 5 pages because “he’s a christ follower”

Right??

Ocular patdown remains undefeated

Oh SAME.

I have outsourced all of my orgasms to an AI model. While its paroxysms of ecstasy are obviously soulless, pantomimed performance, so are your wife’s, and I don’t hear you complainin’ about that.

I enjoy cut cock. Princess cut, specifically, with good color and clarity.

I speak about the summer of the Kendrick/Drake beef with the same solemn respect that an old person would use to refer to the summer they executed the Rosenbergs.

The FBI is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the waxing gibbous moon. If convicted, moon faces a sentence of “fine shattering”, a process by which her gleaming brilliance will be pulverized and refined to make raw material for semiconductors.

There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't simply passively take part! You’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels and make sure that those gears are well-lubed, running smoothly and crushing effectively.

Text Preview: The test results came back, Kafui, and I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.

Message: Kafui, I’m Macy Cosway. Patriot, intelligence asset, and Proud Dem. I’m running for Senate in America’s most racist state. My patience with Donny Drumpf has been tested LONG ENOUGH. Chip in $9 today?

Elon might be a trillionaire while thousands of families starve, but did you also know he suffers from ARFID and can only eat ethically sourced ortolan bunting OR A5 wagyu that has never been touched by human hands? Maybe don’t be so quick to judge, hmm?

It’s a coincidence, of course, that Sydney Sweeney has the initials SS, but the fact that she was born on January 4th, 1988 is just a bridge too far, if you ask me.

If Christianity existed in science fiction, the scholarly, wizened characters would be like, “I believe we can trust the words of this envoy. His sacred text forbids falsehoods."

i think some of you need to shut the hell up. and don’t even get me started on some of you.