Winstonious

Love is blind would be so much better if there were two uggos in each group.

The ren faire is poly Coachella.

Delayed flight means catching up on jet lag the game

Every New Yorker before congestion toll: “the subway is great we have public transit and it’s amazing”

Since: “cars are our life blood this city is unlivable without cars how dare they take my cars away”

Realizing I’m basically nosferatu to my cat.

Facebook is a fun place to buy a used vacuum or find out the woman who took your virginity’s birthday is today.

I’m 90% sure all these drone sightings are just private planes people didn’t notice before.

The canary in the coal mine for 9/11 induced generational trauma was the wide scale belief that Mark Duplass was hot.

“Kinda messed up”

When he screams “legalize it” he’s talking about brother sister marriage.

The nyc assassin is obviously

Honestly put antlers and a shiny red nose an it and I’m in.

YouTube video by Aunty Donna Always Room for Christmas Pud

Tis the season

When British people mispronounce words in another language it’s absolutely on purpose.

If anyone tries to deport me I’m gonna tell the ICE agents exactly which San Antonio Sheraton I was conceived in because if I have to know so do you.

Ativan rules so hard.

Let’s refer to this time as “the moo deng uprising”

a cartoon of a chef with a needle in his mouth is playing at 4:32 ALT: a cartoon of a chef with a needle in his mouth is playing at 4:32

Shitty podcast comedians can’t figure out which one of them Kendrick dissed and that is

It be like that sometimes

It’s so small and petty and dumb but I hate that everyone’s British in Dune Prophecy.

I dig the rest.

Happy to be here (puts gun barrel into mouth)