Simon, but spookier.

A bag of Opal Fruits.

Old school.

I think he has as many names as he does meal tickets, but to us he's Smoky Geoff.

If anyone ever asks how many we have I say two and a half, cos Geoff is very much his own man.

I gave him a slack handful of biscuits a couple of years back and he's been visiting on and off ever since, but this was the longest I've not seen him. He's gone from very wary to quite enjoying a scritch.

A silver tabby cat sat on a dark patio.

After several weeks absence, the local stray tom has turned up for a feed. We were getting quite worried.

I only know that if I get in from a run my wife pulls a face and says something along the lines of "Ugh. You smell like wet dogs. Get in the shower."

That's pheromones, that is. Chicks dig it*.

*They don't.

I wondered if it was to keep your shoes off the covers if you were to lay on the bed without removing them, but laying on the bed in shoes is something surely only a psychopath would do.

Gin and tonic?

20:27, but it was some strange anomaly. That was a parkrun but I'm not usually up early enough on a Saturday. Maybe I'm more of a morning person than I thought.

Same. Felt flat, dragged myself round my usual 4 mile loop, felt better.

Yeah, I think my Tanglewood was about 150 quid, and it sounds plenty good to my ears. Even better if somebody with any amount of talent plays it instead of me.

I honestly never found it a problem. Bringing the strings up to the right tension always felt a bit scary though, like if one snapped you'd lose an eye.

I noodled about on the mandolin for a bit - the Gibson ones are *ridiculous*. Even outside theirs a lot of the forums advise you need to buy an all solid instrument, even as a beginner. Mandolin people *love* spending money it seems.

I'm not really a car person, so had to google that. That is definitely a cunt's car.

They're still there on my (Android) app, but I have to remember not to skip forward or rewind with the buttons on my headphones because that will either skip an entire episode or return to the beginning of the current one.

Best flavour. I'll cheerfully eat any number of strong flavoured dishes, but I just want my crisps to taste of salt. Ideally, too much salt. Have they been issued a prescription for a multipack of Seabrooks?

Someone needed help with everything and bought the lot. The first couple can't have worked because they don't look to have unwrapped many.

Did they specify the healthiest flavour?

I think a lot of them are the same lot who've been out in the park on Sunday mornings since lockdown. They started protesting that, moved on to Covid being a lie, then 5g, no cashless society, now *everything*.

I've not seen many people at PA protests riding a dragon like Bernie Clifton on his ostrich.

Assorted protesters waving St George and Union flags. One appears to be dressed as a crusader and is sat atop a stuffed dragon.

Assorted protesters waving St George and Union flags. An elderly lady is sat in a wheelchair draped in a Union flag.

Behold the master race, out protesting in Grimsby yesterday.

I think wine is discouraged whilst driving these days. Political correctness gone mad.

Wine in crap stemless feels like being on a cheap self catering holiday.

G&T here. Cheers!

Never went away here, although the guys are worse every year, and I don't think I've ever seen them get any money. Hope springs eternal.

It feels like it some days.

Saw my first "penny for the guy" of the year on my way home from work. Good luck with that, kids.

My side of the family think we're odd enough as it is without us having put that on the wedding list...

Got a new phone? That's a half hour conversation with a frazzled secretary to get you back in. Also, here are some messages about your older child who left the school four years ago, but cannot be removed from the account for some reason.