one note parody account devolved into railing abou

FAQ
Q: How long can you leave butter out before it goes bad?
A: It is believed by many that butter can never go bad.

officer, I did not steal that candy from a baby; it was a legitimate loot drop

that's a cutting thing to say to a sack of manure

flying around in a spaceship shooting lasers that make cool noises

had just about enough of this frankly

a giant has picked me up by the ankles and is swinging me around as a club

everyone seeing this post requires a series of incredibly painful ejections

that just smart business

70

my clones are plotting against me

Ray Wise feeding a squirrel, smiling, and giving a thumbs up. From Reaper (2007)

the fool: I would have to choose between looking at an image of Ray Wise feeding a squirrel and an image of Ray Wise giving a thumbs up

the scholar:

I haven't but I feel like I could intuit it. on an unrelated note if you ask me to parallel park I will blow up my car to get out of it

me and my buddies are getting into peer pressure. and we have some ideas about what YOU 🫵 should be doing 😡

we made the entire plane out of just the black box stuff and they're all dead they're all dead it was a horrible stupid idea why did anyone think that would work

Coffee is all around us #universe

abstraction is a village of tiny forest gnomes who will show you how to forage berries, nuts, and mushrooms. realism is a car that wants to hit you. in art you must find a balance between both.

the next big thing in tech will be shareware

firing my full battery of missiles into the sky because they look so pretty 😍

I didn't include that in the clip as that is how I eat beans and thus it is completely normal to me

can't argue with any of that

a comic that looks like a retro back of a magazine ad that says "do you have one piece of trivia that you love to whip out in conversations?" A floating young man's head says "Did you know Roger Ebert wrote Beyond The Valley of The Dolls?" A floating young woman's head responds "the drummer from Fall Out Boy is an 'anarcho-primativist'" Big text says "EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS! It's not interesting! Gain real knowledge today!" Even bigger text says "Descend into your city's sewers!" Slightly smaller text says "enter a world of esoteric truths while you wind your way through a labyrinth of forgotten catacombs!" A second young man, sticking out of a manhole, covered in gloop and smoking a pipe gives testimony: "I've seen things down here you people wouldn't believe! Beneath our feet, a world beyond your comprehension. The secrets shared with me by the mole people are worth more than 100 years of schooling!" Finally, text at the bottom says "Impress your friends! Terrify your neighbors! You'll be the life of every party!"

One Piece of Trivia

(pacing back and forth muttering to myself) wait so if the lion's freebasing then maybe that's why we can't understand him?

override command protocol. system destruct initiate.

it's okay to say stuff like this because it's october

lotta scary stuff online. picture of spider. picture of skeleton. etc.

sorry I'm late. brought takeout. *tosses you each a jar of olives*

still waiting for my retractable metal wolverine claws to come in

and eat burritos

time to put your arm in the sack of venomous snakes and let them bite you unless you want everyone to think you're square

few repeat customers but there's an easy fix: exorbitant markup on base model