Francis G

Ghoul morning 👻

just bash one out. whack one off. detonate one yonder. annihilate one starboard

Nearly choked on my tea and I’m not even drinking tea 🥵

my pumkin
he is everything

you’re hot as a lasagne fresh from the oven x

Ooh wow looking amazing! Sad to miss it. Happy birthday m’dear 🥳 xx

I really like Apple Music AutoMix. Not too heavy handed, doesn't kick in for every song pairing, but fun when it does

I will be a sex imp with purple legs and a feather boa

It’s most similar to a drawing room jacket but oft confused with the common pantry parker!

forgot which creature and thought florence was singing about duck days

Buttfuck that like button, give subscribe an anal fissure, slap the bell red raw, and I hope you have a nice day.

"You know the noise Bibimbap Mapussy made on Drag Race this week? Well my car sounds like that but a little less yaaaas kween and a little more okurrrrr. Hello? Hello?"

There's a really slow entry system to my gym but instead of getting annoyed every time I now try to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment instead. I recommend it for any minor delays in your life — turn them into a positive respite

You’re hot even when I’m sober 😘

What do I want? How should I know? Who am I, me?

“Low and slow” I say while cranking up the cooking temperature because I’m impatient

Landscape. Now portrait. Now square. Hexagon. Torus. Hypercube! I for one welcome 4 dimensional selfies.

Ooh is that like classic birthday cake flavour? Looks great 👌

Moby should start an OnlyFans and call it Moby Dick

What do I win? I hope it’s an egg

Jackpot! Got 3 bits of shell in my egg

Sucking dick is _why_ I have a sore throat. But yes I will try sucking your dick to fix it 🧐

you am baby

Deliveroo driver was really hot! He leaned in and slowly said “can I” and my heart stopped I thought he was going to invite himself in 😂 … “can I get your code please”

Well the emergency alert worked for the whole neighbourhood!

Frankly livid every time I’m in this situation and a hot guy don’t magically appear in my bedroom

wearing a white shirt while eating noodles 🙅🏻‍♀️

getting boiling hot noodle water on my nipples 💁🏻‍♀️

you know when there’s 2 gays in the profile pic but you don’t have to ask “which one is you” because they both look the same

I started a print just as neighbours started drilling their wall so I thought my 3D printer was making horrific broken noises 😂

You know when there’s a hot guy following you so you try to walk sexy but you’re not sure how so you overthink it and then you forget how to walk normally as well and you end up awkwardly power strutting?