Dave

If I was Greenday launching my pension topup tour at the Super Bowl, I think I would have simply looked like I wanted to be there

“Oh, did a sportsball happen?” I whisper smugly from my vantage point on a distant cliff, the sounds of celebration in the village far below just barely audible over the lonely wind whipping my tattered cloak

no 😌

Keir Starmer will announce tomorrow that the Wembley Lasagne has finally been completed.

it would be very funny to me personally if ed miliband became prime minister because last summer he kindly took a photo of me topless

The point of the AI project is to provoke despair in creative people. They haven’t produced profits or anything anyone wants, just a steady stream of articles about how us artistic types can’t do the thing we’re already doing, making art. Jokes on them, we’re even better at despair than they are.

YouTube video by BBC Sport Bobsleigh's are like FIGHTER JETS! 🚀 | Colin Furze's Science of the Winter Olympics | BBC Sport

In an inspired move, the BBC have got Colin Furze of annoying-his-neighbours tunneling YouTuber fame, to explain the physics of the Winter Olympics, a delight youtu.be/JN_H3XT-kE0?...

awwww! this is so lovely. And I’ve always loved this about you, too

When you start seeing it, oh my god so many drivers. It’s already got a really high penalty, I don’t even know how we as society stop it?

what if you fail :(

wow you must be really fast!

Alfie and Sam My first Blind Date review just happens to be two fellas – what are the chances? (Quite high, actually, I refuse to spend my Saturday mornings encouraging heteronormativity unless the couple bonk i…

In the latest Guardian Blind Date: 'We didn’t kiss but we exchanged Instas, which among gay men is close to the same thing’
My review does NOT let that one slide, believe me.

had three glasses of wine at dinner last night and told my Labour friend "THE MILITRAIN IS COMING BACK INTO TOWN, CHOO CHOO" so I guess that's where I'm at, personally

The news from Scotland

i love european olympics opening ceremonies. the second the ioc names a european host city the prime minister calls the culture minister into their office and says "find me your strangest homosexuals. give each of them a period of our great nation's history, a kilo of cocaine, and Ten Million Euros"

The Winter Olympics are a lot more about almost dying than the summer ones, tbh

Phenomenal huh!!!

movie producer girlfriend: i can fix him in post

if muesli was a weather

[into the void] how is it just so unrelentingly GREY

Looks lush! Ive been prevaricating about replacing the doors on mine for years now ://

Deep down I always hoped a massive Bitcoin crash would have coincided with that lad finally finding his crypto hard drive in that landfill site in Newport.

at what point do we just accept that successive governments are just filibustering til the whole place burns down on its own, be way easier

‘…their breath smells overpoweringly of mint’

one neatly cut piece of black tape can mean your devices simply don’t have a clock 😌😌😌

with that attitude, sure

ponds tomorrow

Harðneitar að borga furðureikning fyrir að aka milljón kílómetra í janúar - RÚV.is Nokkuð er um furðulegar rukkanir fyrir hinu nýja kílómetragjaldi. Rútubílstjóri á Egilsstöðum harðneitar að borga næstum tuttugu milljónir fyrir að aka tæpa milljón kílómetra í janúar. Útilokað er að ...

Enjoying this story from Iceland where they introduced a pay-per-km road tax in January. One coach driver has been billed for driving 1 million km in January. He would have had to drive 25 times round the world, going at 1300 kmph. www.ruv.is/frettir/innl...

Congratulations!!!