Cara Moretto

I honestly can’t believe seahorses are real. They’re unicorn territory for me. So special. So magical. Almost everything is terrible in the world right now, but we are lucky to have seahorses.

Maybe Happy Ending doesn’t seem to be on lottery anymore, seemingly since Sunday, and I find that to be very shady.

Man these Succession siblings are still competitive with each other even after the show’s wrapped, huh?

It’s giving Annie?

Shhhh my show’s on

How I know I shouldn’t have been in the Gifted and Talented Program as a child is whenever someone mentions having been in “the G and T Program” as a child, I think to myself, “the Gin and Tonic Program?”

Chicago Pope. Starring Adam Arkin.

NPR: the new pope is American

My tired, anxious, pessimistic brain: oh my god it IS Trump, isn't it?

If we watch Star Wars today we watch Spaceballs today. Fairs is fair.

can we also get a scene with Parker Posey screaming "you STUPID HOTEL MANAGER" at Fabian, just as a little treat?

When Eliot wrote “April is the cruelest month“ he was talking about the pranks wasn’t he?

Just think of all the signal group chats they didn’t accidentally invite a reporter to join

Reallllly wish my first acupuncture appointment would have fallen on March 15th instead of today (you know, for the lols) but close enough I guess

He would have been everything

Also one Best in Show cast member per White Lotus season going forward, please and thank you.

According to the SAG-AFTRA contractual rider of 2019, every television show must include at least 1 nepo baby. If one is not provided (rare), a former child actor now grown and a small penalty will suffice.

We should let the groundhog pick the Mayor

I scheduled a root canal for today - it’s literally what I’d rather be doing than acknowledging today’s other event

My Christmas gift to myself was more storage on my iCloud which, ugh, but it was either that or delete 700 squirrel pictures, so…

This week’s SNL is gonna slap

#cheapjoke

Posting a selfie on social media with the hashtag “grateful” today gets an automatic 30 day snooze from me

Where’s the skibidi toilet float?

Oh man they’re NOT doing The Outsiders rain song at the parade? What a missed opportunity!

I’m staying awake to charge my watch so it can tell me how little sleep I got

when I tell you I have devoted hours of my life to the man on TikTok who can identify the actress within a few bars of her bootleg Defying Gravity Elphaba performance...

I'm not even that big of a Wicked fan, I'm just in awe of this man's talents!

Excited for that new Keanu movie, John Wicked.

“Where’s my Roy Cohn?”
Well, you got him. Right down to the closeted homophobia.

It’s November 1st right? Because the guy sitting next to me on the G train is wearing a red and green striped sweater and a brown fedora.

Napoleon II was the original Napo baby

Tampon in the Men’s Room to the tune of Murder on the Dance Floor come on Weird Al let’s do this