Diriector_Doc

A Spanish Inquisitor goes to a Fortune Teller's parlour.

The fortune teller says, "I've been expecting you."

The inquisitor responds, "Impossible!"

Don't trust statistics at face value.
15% of statistics are made up on the spot.

I was in a very elaborate sequence of near-misses yesterday, and I realized afterward that I have no sense of danger. I was worried in the moment, of course, because I didn't want to wreck the car. But about a minute after the ordeal, it suddenly dawned on me that "Oh dang, I almost died."

Somehow, even though SFX today can be procedurally generated with a technology that may not be named, I find the rudimentary rigging of non-CG SFX from the '80s to be more real-looking than the SFX of today.

I'm going to start spelling the study of animals as "zooölogy" and no one can stop me.

Nahuatl me whip.
Nahuatl me nae nae.

I donated blood today, and it went pretty well.

This time, I didn't become light-headed until AFTERWARD. Success!

Hallowe'en is the least-scary day of the year because you're expecting a surprise.

April 1 is the most-scary day of the year because you're expecting a surprise.

You know how when you look at an unfamiliar script, you think to yourself, "all these symbols look the same; doesn't it get confusing?"

Well, I just had that experience with my own handwriting...And no, even though all the symbols look the same, I was not confused.

A door is a temporary wall.
A doorway is just a fancy hole.

Ironically, the number of barriers that Adobe puts on its software, making their products ridiculously expensive for non-businesses and cracking down on pirated versions; photoshopped images have become so rare, it's hilarious that something HiGhEr TeCh is somehow more accessible.

Back in my day, when we wanted to accuse a photo of being faked, we called it "photoshopped."

The "unmute" button on social media videos should skip the video ahead a few seconds and drop you right when the teaching actually begins.

I find it funny that in 1994, a Swedish band made a song that makes fun of Americans, and it was so accurate that it became their unnoficial anthem.

It's not judgement, it's making fun. There's a difference.

Thank you, Google Search AI Overview. Not for providing me with accurate information, because you *definitely* didn't do that; but because you made me more avid about checking my facts and finding the right sources for my information, instead of relying on the top result.

A screenshot of the observer blocks with a custom texture in the style of a Lenny emoticon. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hey @vanillatweaks.net

I noticed your website has a fun little soyjack variation of the trial vault.

Many years ago, I made my own texture for the observer that I have been using ever since. The file says 2020, but I think it's older.

What do you think? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(made for Programmer Art)

Sometimes I forget Luxembourg is a monarchy

I challenge someone to approach an English learner and try to explain to them the difference between "a piece of my mind" and "peace of mind."

Me: Says "Bering Strait."
Auto Captions: "Bearing Straight?" Yes, that's definitely what you said. In context, it makes perfect sense.

Person A: [Shows a passion toward anything]
Person B: "Have you ever been diagnosed with autism?"

There are people who can solve a Rubik's Cube in under 10 seconds, but it takes the average person 15 seconds to find the end of a roll of tape.

Random linguistical ramble

Words with the prefix tele- can be separated by "initial stress" and "middle stress"

Television
Telegram
Telekinesis

Telephony
Telepathy
Telemetry

I do see a pattern that ending in Y has some effect on the emphasis.

If I were a movie producer, I would obtain licenses for well-known songs, but I would never use the iconic part.

Like, I'd get a license for AWOLNATION's Run, but I wouldn't use the bass drop.

Or, Baha Men's Who Let The Dogs Out, but I'd never play the chorus.

Just to mess with people....

Sometimes I mix up my East and West, which is weird because I never mix up my Left and Right, nor my North and South.

If you pronounce non-existant vowels when saying an acronym, congratulations, you just invented an abjad.

Self-report

We should do away with the over-generalized film rating; PG, PG13, R.

Instead, there should be content warnings, and grade of severity.

Take Sunstance Use for example.
How hard are the substances? Is it used by the MC? Does it happen on-screen?

Some themes are more mature than others.

Etymologically speaking, avocados are technically a nut.

If I'm not supposed to keep my Social in my wallet, then why wallet-shaped?