Tertiary Shlee

I just need to be held and cared for rn

Im way too depressed to dream of being dominant

Not that this diminishes how much i love her but also damn i hope i didn't set the bar for how i should be acting at "mildly hypomanic" instead of my actual "mildly depressed shut-in with hyperactive spurts" default.

Bc fuck...
Hypersexuality
Abnormally high mood
Inflated self esteem
Impulsiveness
Hell even the distortions were a bit more active.

Idk thats kinda the checklist innit and that defines like all of last month. Like i literally came out of that with a gf and like 5 more people on my body count

I think its important to keep an eye on it though bc if i get on too many ups and downs they get sharper and shorter each time.

Like that shit gets dangerous or at best i just spend a bunch of money i dont have on the up and withdraw from friends on the downswing. Especially if i dont recognize it

My libido has abruptly stopped existing at roughly the same time my mood tanked.

Chat was this always just a minor and well medicated episode and now ive just swung to depression? That is how this usually goes.

I hate my brain. I hate that i want to diagnose my own mental state

I should be owned

I wish i was a better dom to make people feel good but it simply isnt in my soul without testosterone

Maybe today is a harness day when i get home

Need to be tied together with someone, physically incapable of pulling away

I just need to be tied up and left alone for 2-4 hours in near total sensory deprivation

Im way to depressed to dom rn dang

I am simply dog im sorry

I have no desire to exist rn except as an object.

I am not a person rn. Please exempt me from human duties.

I need gf time although i need to plot some surprise for her that i genuinely dont know what to do.

My dommy side is not active rn send a twink.

Maybe idk

Im so much less horny uncaged and im entirely uncertain how i feel about that

I will not be sharing the pic bc it is bad and it makes me feel bad

I was all excited for this lingerie and then i get it and its tiny despite being "3xl"

It technically fit... Ish. But it was so unflattering i just wound up getting super dysphoric about it.

I hate shopping for fem stuff as a big trans girl. This is hell.

I just want to be your servant and pet. Use me to make your life easier while being sexy and controlled and that is more than enough reward for me.

I ordered something sexy that should be here today... We'll see if it fits

Its not the same without requirements tho

I miss it

It was so cozy

I just want to be your pet and servant

Im not a dom which sucks bc im pretty good at it

Genuinely kinda disappointed tbh

A little mopey that i am loose and free. Was nice while it lasted

I feel weird uncaged ngl but its my turn to be the dom

Im so fucking excited ive just gotta do some laundry and then sleep until its time to leave

On top of everything else a thing that supremely excites me about today is it'll be my first time in bondage that i genuinely dont have any ability to get out of.

I can undo a hand tie with my teeth if i can get to it... I wont have that ability today. I will be trapped.

Girl who puts you in a shock collar but to make you bark on command

Maybe this is just a decade of repression breaking and all that energy being released

Or maybe this is just what a medicated episode is like who the fuck knows

Do i need to tone it down? Am i capable of doing so?