Tony Sopranos Emo Goomah

Trying to get through a day without a sweet treat is like an angel trying to fly without her wings

I hate (kind of) working in customer service. I would rather fight to the death

ET was my sleep paralysis demon for my first 8 or so years of life

I am not immune to propaganda (I enjoyed a superhero movie)

I can't imagine what elevators were like before headphones.... just all standing in silence with nothing as an excuse???

about to be farting at the function with my girls

Checking my mail in my tootsie pop boxers and butthole (the band) neon green tshirt..... silently begging my neighbors not to walk out rn

Being tatted is like being pregnant in the way that people think they have the right to touch you

Can men give me a fucking break please

bro are we not allowed to YEARN anymore??!!!?!

I wish all the fungus gnats in my house a very death by venus flytrap 🖤

I don't know how to flirt, I'm just mean to men that are nervous around me

I love a remorseful trumpet

Men fishing for compliments is so.....

It will be a beautiful thing once tattoo artists take credit cards as payment <3

I swear my body knows when I go into an in person meeting and turns on the fart machine

It's really unfortunate that sopranos fans make the worst memes

I think that people I hate should keep their successes to themselves

I've gotta say, I will be a proud draft dodger before I EVERRRR fight for this country and their useless wars

Let me burn in hell before I ever refer to myself in a couple as the mom/dad of the group

I'm .3 seconds away from posting mental illness btw

My feet are slime and my docs are a 12 year old girls hands

The only thing worse than watering 40 plants is repotting 40 plants

Enemies are always closer than u think EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK

I think it would be fun to beat a man with a bouquet of flowers one day

The worst part about Paris is the men

Maybe everyone in Europe smells so bad bc they wear sweaters and jackets in 80° weather

The thing about Europe is that it smells

My goal is to be the scariest girl at the function