slutto

omg i just learned paper planes by mia is a sample

like they'll never tell you the secret to good skin is to drink lots of water and minimize stress. it's always some new product.

my problem with the skincare industry is that you can't take any of their claims seriously since it's always from the perspective of people trying to sell you things

i could learn from lesbians

"nobody wants to work anymore" i'm nobody

it's crazy how teen pregnancy just quietly stopped being a culture-defining issue one day

alumnUS: there's only one of 'u' = singular
alumnI: you have two 'eyes' = plural

lol northernlion reacting to my existence... i feel so seen

i eat so much rice, they call me the rice queen

went to chinese class for the first time on saturday (你们好!) it was me and 3 korean older ladies, so i was the demographic anomaly. but then down the hall was a japanesee class where it was all the nastiest looking men i've ever seen. the demographics of language classes are crazy like that tho

i wanna do something crazy

[Q]
What would you like to say out loud with pride?

[A]
MY DICK IS HUGE!

[2010]

did we say that it's going to rain all day tomorrow? oh, what we meant to say was it's not going to rain at all. sorry for the confusion

crash-out christie

mobius strip but it's the name of a really nerdy strip club

Met the equivalent of the dril candles tweet yesterday but instead of candles it was lululemon

Emotionally Volatile And Need-Y

generation why-bother

had a big L this week but i'll be okay once i get back to doing the things i am good at

i get my coffee in a tumbler to reduce waste but i always end up behind 3 different people each ordering 12 takeout coffees for their entire office and getting 4 plastic bags for their order

what if we all did something fun

like okay you spent all of that money retrofitting the self checkouts into your store and paying for the software subscription fee... and you still need actual people working the register and/or servicing these machines. what's the point?

we introduced automated self-checkouts so employees can focus on the more productive work of going behind the register to fetch the key to unlock the glass case full of candy bars

rearranging d*ck chairs on the titanic

people who go traveling abroad 5 times a year are crazy to me. its cool to see new things and all but the dynamic between tourist and local was immediately evident and quite weird no matter where i went. i'd rather stay home with my friends or go somewhere my friend lives

cursing like a sailor as a form of active listening

if you want to know the english language equivalent of <untranslatable abstract japanese word> i would nominate "bad taste." the idea that someone should be shamed for liking ed sheeran and coldplay is incomprehensible to many cultures

Yell.

i feel myself getting stupider the longer i stay at this job