Jonathan Evans

You won't catch Stokes's England Oliver Sticking

Graham Linehan is a comedy writer in the same way that I'm a teenager (neither of us have been for 2 decades)

Things you love to see 💜

I am 35 years, 9 days and 0 months old; you're right, that's a completely normal order to put those in 😛

I would like this if it didn't require the date to be written in a batshit way to work.

Also, TIL my phone autocorrects "batshit" to "catsuit" so that's fun.

IF I WANTED ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOR I'D GET A PET FERRET

In football, pulling another player's shirt is prohibited.

It's punished by a free kick and a yellow card.

Pundits are frequently seen praising players for deliberately committing this (and similar offences) to stop play before a counter attack becomes dangerous.

Alternate headline: The most punchable man in Britain doesn't feel safe in public, tries to pretend this says something about anyone but him

Yeah, Hunter's Mark was usually my go to - particularly if you go Ranger 5 for extra attack before switching to Rogue levels. But Zephyr Strike's a really nice fall back/alternative, particularly if you find yourself surrounded by melee threats

2014 does have options for this - obviously environment dependent, but Umbral Sight and Cunning Action both can self gain advantage. But I'd also tend to pick up Zephyr Strike on a Ranger/Rogue for another tool.

Whatever the actual result, Italy should be disqualified for this lime green kit #EngvIta #Euro2025

Just dropping in at #MethodistConf for the afternoon, come say hi

@awkward-turtler.bsky.social

Objectively, I haven't slept properly in weeks, because it's heckin warm

The only time I've ever had to queue was when I was a student and about a dozen of us went straight to the polling station from the same lecture.

You should be proud of yourself, you're a star 💫

One thing that annoys me about this is having self-professed progressives go on about "the girls are fighting"--it's two grown-ass white men having a childish spat and throwing public tantrums that will have very real collateral casualties, and the misogyny in calling them girls always escapes them.

@clairewillett honestly the best marketing scheme in history is men successfully getting away with calling women the "more emotional" gender for like, EONS, because they've successfully rebranded anger as Not An Emotion 6:00 PM • Aug 12, 2020

once again I must tap my own sign

"Remember how successful playing Jamie Smith out of position in the Champions' Trophy was? Well, how about we play him more out of position."

An orange with cotton wool stuck to it and a face drawn on in pen to make it look like Tom Jones.

My phone just reminded me of the time I stuck some cotton wool to an orange just to see if it would look like Tom Jones.

"Here lies ... wait, what did he tell *you* his name was?"

My aroace ass trying to flirt:

Haven't been on here much this week, so missed this first time round, but so glad to hear she's doing great 🫶

A trans woman wrote to Wetherspoons to ask which toilets they're meant to use. Wetherspoons replied acknowledging the Supreme Court's verdict...and that trans customers can use whichever loos they want to but to please lock the cubicle door.

Labour now being outflanked on the left by Wetherspoons.

I have - on more than one occasion - got most of the way through typing my number into my own phone to ring it so I can find it.

Ambassador Spock modeling the proper “fuck you, make me” response to intimidation tactics. Our current-day institutions could learn a lot from him.

🤷‍♀️ Your thirst posts have a very specific brand and it's... definitely not that