Jonathan Evans

Don't worry Wes, none of us thought you ever did, or ever will have, any friends. We understand that however much you tried to suck up to Mandelson, he couldn't stand you either.

A screenshot of Alice's original post with the create post button obscuring enough of it that it now reads "It would seem I have lost my lust"

Felt compelled to let you know how this post showed up on my timeline

Fake Deliveroo driver jailed for shooting family

I... think it's illegal to shoot a family even if you're a real Deliveroo driver

So, how is picking an opening bowler who spent December going on more drinking holidays than he bowled competitive overs working out? #AskGeorge

Yes, hello? I don’t think 2026 is working properly. I’d like to cancel my free 5 day trial please.

Inside you are two cats. They are both asleep

Again,

Cummins not fully fit. Lyon off the field. Starc with a new ball. And he plays *that* shot. Just no match state awareness 🤦

Australia probably still win this with only Starc and Boland, but throwing this away through their spinner injuring themself by pointlessly diving to save 2 would be very funny

You won't catch Stokes's England Oliver Sticking

Graham Linehan is a comedy writer in the same way that I'm a teenager (neither of us have been for 2 decades)

Things you love to see 💜

I am 35 years, 9 days and 0 months old; you're right, that's a completely normal order to put those in 😛

I would like this if it didn't require the date to be written in a batshit way to work.

Also, TIL my phone autocorrects "batshit" to "catsuit" so that's fun.

IF I WANTED ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOR I'D GET A PET FERRET

In football, pulling another player's shirt is prohibited.

It's punished by a free kick and a yellow card.

Pundits are frequently seen praising players for deliberately committing this (and similar offences) to stop play before a counter attack becomes dangerous.

Alternate headline: The most punchable man in Britain doesn't feel safe in public, tries to pretend this says something about anyone but him

Yeah, Hunter's Mark was usually my go to - particularly if you go Ranger 5 for extra attack before switching to Rogue levels. But Zephyr Strike's a really nice fall back/alternative, particularly if you find yourself surrounded by melee threats

2014 does have options for this - obviously environment dependent, but Umbral Sight and Cunning Action both can self gain advantage. But I'd also tend to pick up Zephyr Strike on a Ranger/Rogue for another tool.

Whatever the actual result, Italy should be disqualified for this lime green kit #EngvIta #Euro2025

Just dropping in at #MethodistConf for the afternoon, come say hi

@awkward-turtler.bsky.social

Objectively, I haven't slept properly in weeks, because it's heckin warm

The only time I've ever had to queue was when I was a student and about a dozen of us went straight to the polling station from the same lecture.

You should be proud of yourself, you're a star 💫

One thing that annoys me about this is having self-professed progressives go on about "the girls are fighting"--it's two grown-ass white men having a childish spat and throwing public tantrums that will have very real collateral casualties, and the misogyny in calling them girls always escapes them.

@clairewillett honestly the best marketing scheme in history is men successfully getting away with calling women the "more emotional" gender for like, EONS, because they've successfully rebranded anger as Not An Emotion 6:00 PM • Aug 12, 2020

once again I must tap my own sign

"Remember how successful playing Jamie Smith out of position in the Champions' Trophy was? Well, how about we play him more out of position."