CT Jackson

Democrats Are Here To DO WORK Watch Out Voting World, We Are BACK!

I wrote this article last week, then yesterday the DNC reveals their fight song. They even used "onward" just as I predicted.

The History Of The World According To Donald Trump An Update To The Smithsonian's Lies

Now that Trump is rewriting the history at Smithsonian museums, we found his updated timeline of world events.

Socrates Says for Everyone to Get Back Into the Cave We ask that all freed prisoners make their way back to the entrance of the Cave in an efficient, but respectful manner.

My piece is now available on Points in Case. Enjoy the allegory while you still can. Thanks @pointsincase.com!

My newest satirical guidebook is out now! Learn about conspiracy theorists, snake oil peddlers, and far-right whackos. I answer the question, "how the hell did we get here?" a.co/d/dj9nR0q

Welcome to the American Wonka iPhone Factory Helping Bring Back U.S. Manufacturing

Welcome to the American Wonka iPhone Factory! Bringing jobs back for citizens and Oompas alike.

Stop Vandalizing My Dirigible A Desperate Plea From The Owner

"This vandalism has to stop. Please. I am in no way affiliated with the National Socialist Party. I just really love my Luftschiff Zeppelin 129 Hindenburg Premium XL." Cybertruck owners take note.

Urgent Memo: DOGE Government Cuts and the Ark of the Covenant From A Concerned Security Professional

Forget tariffs and social security, there is a far greater danger brewing in government right now.

Why can't the US be more like South Korea in dealing with their leaders. Instead we are North Korea.

Travel Advisory: United States of America A Global Alert for Citizens

Warning for all your Spring Break travelers: “Exercise increased caution due to inconsistent availability of affordable healthcare services, increased incidents of crypto-crime, and South African dweebs.”

Trump imposes tariffs on uninhabited Heard and McDonald Islands near Antarctica Australian prime minister surprised after remote external territories – including islands home to penguins – targeted by US president

I'm glad Trump is finally bringing the tariff hammer down on the alliance of uninhabited islands, coral atolls, barrier reefs, brackish lagoons, and deep-sea trenches.

It's about time we show those coral atolls whose boss.

And not a single one wanted to host Usha Vance

Europe reporting in, ready to support sleepless America

My Dinner With Elon When I called Elon, and he suggested we meet at the Panera Bread on 18th and H street, I’d been rather surprised.

I'll never forget my dinner with Elon, so I've shared the story with others. You may need a drink, I know I did.

Just need to add Elon Musk in a basket up front a la E.T.

Is beatboxing allowed during filibusters? Asking for a friend.

Enjoy our inflight entertainment with exclusive access to classified military operations and Russian state television.

It is morning here, it is great to read it all. It is like showing up to a party and everyone is drunk but not quite sloppy

It will be funny when JD Vance goes to hell, like Curb closing music for eternity

Followed by the 21-breast salute

*Third Reich

And crickets at night doing the same thing. Nature: a beautiful coital cacophony

Plan Your Visit: National Smithsonian From Master Docent, JD Vance

JD Vance Welcomes You To The New And Improved Smithsonian, now with 75% less history and culture.

When I see an empty frozen pizza box in the public park trash, I take a moment to stop and marvel at the mysteries of life.

Let’s Save Western Civilization by Being Cruel Motherfuckers “The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy… ” —  Elon Musk - - -I see Musk’s point. Empathy is destroying Western civilization, w...

"Western civilization is definitely worth saving, people. But not the liberal values part, of course. I don’t mean the democracy part either. Or the shared ethical values. Or that stuff Jesus said about love and forgiveness."

That is a look. I would totally read his book where he finally reveals where he hid the bodies.

Stuck in an infinite managerial loop. A Space Karen Mobius strip

Everyone has their own kink.