chkgrz (resist fascism) (totally not a bot. nope. am human)

Well, I think it's time to log off the Internet and play solitaire Scrabble or something. This has filled my daily allotment of stupidity.

I swear, MAGA must have fallen out of the Idiot Tree and hit every branch on the way down.

That's why I usually get a gigantic sub sandwich and a quart of yogurt (Greek-style, honey, to be exact).

Is that what kids these days are calling it?

wait is cookie monster god

I had five cookies today. To my shame, I forgot to devote them to Cookie Monster.

Not exactly. He's one of the Eternal Champions. Specifically, the Eternal Champion of Devouring Cookies.

(Yes, I know I'm butchering Michael Moorcock canon. No, I don't care.)

donald trump is giving a speech at a podium in front of american flags ALT: donald trump is giving a speech at a podium in front of american flags

I figured out why Trump likes Dan Bongino.

Cornholio is twice as smart and three times as competent as anyone in the Trump Administration.

My apologies to Cornholio, but he really isn't that smart.

There is Elvis, the King of Rock and Roll. There is Michael Jackson, the King of Pop. There is Stephen King. And there is Ash Williams (Hail to the King, Baby!). Those are the only kings I recognize in America.

And the only Emperor is Emperor Norton. Long may his memory bless San Francisco.

How dare you, sir! Oingo Boingo freaking rules!

To be fair though, breaking down an crying is an appropriate response to what Trump is doing to America.

Other appropriate responses include forcefully making Trump eat his own goddam cake.

Kinda dry and papery.

Me: I was into books before they were cool.

Them: So you're a hipster?

Me: No. I'm a nerd.

Context...

Fine. But only because you asked nice.

Ha! I get it! Cat-astrophe.

It won't. It can't, at least not until it gets its crap together.

I've told you time and time again to leave me the fuck alone. You don't seem to understand the concept of boundaries, so have no option but to put you on mute. The fact that your bullshit is harmful to people who are struggling doesn't seem to bother you. Do better.

Goodbye.

It's a sad state of affairs when the very concept of truth vs. falsehood has become politicized.

IT'S 1988 AND I'M POSTING THIS FROM A
SECOND-HAND COMMODORE 64.

I've been invited to a few services, and I'm not a fan. Eating torn-up bits of white bread that other people have been touching? Eww! No thanks.

Some of us are doing all we can to just survive. I expect Republicans to kick people while they're down. I did not expect a Democrat to do that. And let me reiterate, *you don't know shit about me.* Just fucking go away and leave us the hell alone.

a man in a suit and tie is smiling in front of a dart board with an arrow in his eye Alt: Steve Martin with an arrow through his head, acting like a maniac.

Nah. I'm fine. Nothing wrong with me.

That Which Lurks in the Microwave

We told you they would come for veterans. We told you they would come for community care.

You don't know me. You don't know my situation. You don't know what I can and cannot do and you don't know what I've already done. That goes for everyone else you're throwing shade at for "not doing enough."

Stop trying to make people feel like shit because they're not performing to your standards.

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal WASHINGTON—In an effort to assuage any fears over the constitutionality of the Trump administration’s flurry of executive actions, a D.C.-area think tank called The Himmler Institute reportedly assure...

Wait... I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire.

theonion.com/think-tank-c...

I believe so, along with airline reservation systems.