Mitch

please twink responsibly

if I were wall street, I simply would not let them publish my journal

sometimes I wish I were as committed to storytelling no matter the context as curtis sliwa is

“wish you were gay” playing in this coffee shop. oh I’m sure

oh yeah? could an annoying person do this?

*shuts up for five minutes*

and I’m gonna hold my gum when I say this-

the existence of firearms implies the existence of airarms, waterarms, and eartharms too

if you were today’s date, you’d be 10/10. but you aren’t, you’re a person

help! I have no will and I must live

there isn’t really a dignified way to get out of the backseat of an uber

it’s the season of the soup

Two photos of Guy Fieri, in one he has his signature frosted tips and in the other he has natural brown hair

guy fieri might be the only documented case where someone straight looks better with bleached hair/tips

Does anyone know if we have a funded government tomorrow

Trump budget chief says firings are coming in 'one to two' days due to shutdown Russell Vought, head of the Office of Management and Budget, told House Republicans on a conference call Wednesday that reductions in the federal workforce would happen soon.

we will fire a fed every hour on the hour until our demands are met

if the government isn’t funded after 15 minutes we’re legally allowed to leave

apparently urinal etiquette is falling by the wayside in 2025

a great Instagram story can only either be a perfectly aesthetic, composed photo or a random shitty picture of something strange. anything other than that should be deleted

A photo of a hand with blue stains on it captioned “Just gave a hand job to megamind”

🧠

Facebook iOS update release notes, reading “Our teams have solved many crashes, fixed issues you've reported and made the app faster.”

why does Facebook write app update notes that sound like they are quotes from the president 🤔

Wikipedia page for Celebrate Bisexuality Day: Celebrate Bisexuality Day (also called Bisexual Pride Day, Bi Visibility Day, CBD, Bisexual Pride and Bi Visibility Day, and Bisexuality+ Day) is observed annually on September 23 to recognize and celebrate bisexual people, the bisexual community, and the history of bisexuality.

it’s called CBD because, well, you can figure it out 😌

boygenius playing at the apple store that used to be a public library on iphone pickup day… hmm

fellas, is It gay? 🤡🎈

maybe all those “let’s go brandon” people were just really jazzed to visit Brandon, FL

gusty winds in your area looking to blow off shingles

how does one start out as a diarrhea instagram influencer you think?

seattle is mecca for polycules. I don’t feel I need to elaborate

I read this as “galaxy with the moines” if that makes sense

I fear we are watching yet another Kennedy collapse in the public mental breakdown of Jack Schlossberg on social media

they call him the rizz god of ridgewood, and he’s on every dating app known to man

I’m jaywalking across streets you haven’t even reached yet