Dan Persons

"The pizza shall be cold; the boba shall be spilled; they will not find the additional container of bbq sauce they paid extra for. Little by little, we shall demoralize them, until they lose all will to resist."

Aren't shepherds out of season now?

And this is why you don't let 65 year-olds do your TikToks.

And this is why you don't let 65 year-olds do your TikToks.

My doctor check-in now asks if I've been doing any travelling *within* the United States.

And this wouldn't have anything to do with the installation of anti-vaxxers at the Departments of Health, would it?

<<...you want an actor who can surprise you every take, not one whose performance you dial up and down on a laptop>>

Have you asked Michael Bay about this?

"Aw, jeez, you got the stink lines and everything." - Moe Syzlak.

This morning, my Echo displayed the three most disturbing words in the English language:

Vanilla Shrimp Oil.

Bizarre Trump ramble to military seen as 'truly significant turning point' in presidency Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth sparked concerns with his unusual order summoning hundreds of military commanders to Virginia for an all-hands meeting — but it the speech by President Donald Trump that...

"If I were a would-be dictator... something I would definitely do is call an unprecedented in-person meeting of the only people who could stop me and then... illustrate why they should stop me." - Timothy Burke.

Will the word get out? Will enough people understand?

www.rawstory.com/trump-speech...

Next time a delivery guy nearly slams into me, instead of swearing, I'll say, "Thank you."

We have reached critical mass on YouTube "[Entity] hates/doesn't want you to know about this [product]" ads:

"Criminals hate this telescoping steel rod."

I swear, that's real.

Butthole Pepper sounds like an especially obnoxious gunslinger.

We can only hope.

Trump Orders Unsealing of All Files on Amelia Earhart and Her Disappearance

This is the "Are you okay with Pepsi?" of cover-ups.

www.nytimes.com/2025/09/26/u...

The Comey indictment is so weak even some in right-wing media aren’t buying it Prominent right-wing media figures reacted to the Department of Justice’s indictment of former FBI Director James Comey by calling it weak, underwhelming, and unlikely to survive in court. President D...

When even your toadies aren't backing you up...

Release the Epstein files.

www.mediamatters.org/james-comey/...

Five. You forgot the low-flow toilet.

There are indications that James Comey is going to be indicted.

Release the Epstein files.

I'm not trusting AI to correct it, I'm just demonstrating how unreliable it is by showing it delivering a response that directly contradicts its previous one.

I like you, George, but you got bamboozled by Google AI, Below is *also* from Google AI. The misspelling of "threw" in the alleged, "actual" Cherryh quote was the tip.

This may well be from Cherryh, but the only citations I could find were from posts on Threads.

Rest in pizza.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

When freedom is under fire you can count on me to ramble and mutter incoherently.

Donald Trump is suing The New York Times for $15 billion.

Release the Epstein files.

When was Leonard Cohen ever not in that mode?

You are without pier... Er... peer.

Let me be clear about this: Charlie Kirk was a loathsome piece of s--- who should have lived to a ripe, old age, long enough to see himself marginalized in a world that embraced love, empathy, and diversity.

YouTube video by P&G Professional Dawn Professional Manual Pot & Pan: Double the Pots, Just One Sink

"Being short-staffed..." Read between the lines.

This is one degree away from being an Onion parody. My jaw dropped when I saw this.

youtu.be/w_te7GYHBro?...

We have noticed a recent uptick in false social media posts regarding Chicago, including misleading videos, old videos reposted as new, and unfounded rumors.

Everything feels urgent, but we ask people to take an extra minute to double check information and avoid sowing confusion.

We Keep Us Safe

Yes, please stop.

Picture yourself in a cage in a black hole,
With Lex's old girlfriends, robots in command.
Suddenly someone is hurting your body,
The dude with the kryptonite hands...