Tim Cushing

actual lol

"surely they'll take us more seriously in our new vestments" said the completely wrong Canadian Supreme Court, whose history now includes a limited class action lawsuit against Jerry Glanville and his brief tenure as the head coach of the Atlanta Falcons.

Leap Day William, The Beeper King, Jonathan

Baby it's fine. Just go back to your coma.

“Listen, here’s the thing - if you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.”

[Smash cut to every Trump cabinet member going all in on every hand]

deep cut. Much appreciated.

this is the face of a man who stopped masturbating thanks to kellogg’s corn flakes

Looking at the 3-1 Jags and yelling "where's your Urban Meyer now?" in the direction of a bunch of frightened cocktail waitresses who refuse to get in the passenger seat of my murdered-out Jeep C-J with four bald tires and a CoD Elite wheel cover

My TV continues to argue with me about my Internet connection in conjunction with my excessive number of streaming subscriptions.

We have reached an agreement.

It will generate errors during crucial game events but I will be allowed to curse ineffectively every time this happens.

Department of Gouging Eyes [DOGE]

Justice is blind, say DOJ lawyers, as they seek a permanent restraining order against Americans capable of viewing camera footage

Cute or not, please consider sentencing enhancements before pleading "not an Xmas witch"

Claim: 10 cars rammed ICE
Truth: No cars rammed ICE

Claim: She boxed ICE in
Truth: ICE boxed her in

Claim: She shot a rifle at ICE
Truth: She did not have a rifle

Claim: ICE returned fire
Truth: Only ICE fired

Claim: She drove herself to the hospital
Truth: Paramedics found her

Well, for starters, their junior high GPA

Me watching CCTV footage: goddamn this is a thing that happened

Reporters: unblinking impersonal automated eyewitness recordings are facing fierce pushback from the government, which claims the things you saw aren't the things you saw

get forcibly retired by popular vote, you absolute mook

consequences of my own actions dot meme

Trump’s Immigration Push Diverts U.S. Agents From Drug, Money and Sex-Crime Cases Federal investigators are resigning, and morale is low, as they juggle complex cases and detain migrants.

“A federal team in El Paso that once pursued child traffickers has been disbanded.

“A task force in Kansas focused on stemming fentanyl has been redirected.

“Highway checkpoints near the border—on roads identified as major drug-trafficking routes—have gone unstaffed”

🎁
www.wsj.com/politics/pol...

YouTube video by Tralfaz666 Killdozer - I Am I Said

OK. Not sure if this qualifies, but here's Killdozer covering Neil Diamond:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoej...

I have a soft spot for any band that decides it's just going to urinate down its own leg and call it a piss take.

Absolutely unrecognizable. It's not even Robert Smith doing the vocals. If I'm not mistaken, it's the drummer who was only there for that album.

YouTube video by The Cure - Topic Foxy Lady

I do, however, have a soft spot for an exceedingly nascent Cure covering Jimi Hendrix with all the audacity, verve, and snarky shittiness that should have been expected from a bunch of 19 year olds

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLNz...

There were so many bad nu-metal covers of exceptionally weak tunes and it all leads back to Limp Bizkit covering Behind Blue Eyes and Orgy thinking it could turn a drum preset error into secondhand riches with Blue Monday.

Tough question. Someone salvaging a shitty rock classic is almost unheard of. I know several that spun great tunes into new gold but don't really know what to offer here. stay tuned, though. I have enough overconfidence for everyone!

"appears to contradict" lol, lmao even

call it like you see it, journalists. you don't owe *any* government *anything* don't pull this shit and call it journalism.

it stands for occasional gynecologist, yo

the only thing worse than godawful classic rock songs are shitty covers of already terrible godawful classic rock songs

got that Hippocratic oath tattooed across my chest like an OG

Outer Limits character who looks like Stephen Miller, right up to the weird bald skull shape and the bugged out eyes of someone with a Masters in bigotry from Prager U

"HECHO EN MEXICO? WTF?!!!?"

"well I am entirely speculating here but as I see it, market forces and possibly some Mexican has gotten a free flu shot from Walgreens"