Damon FFG 🍉

Are US Postal Service pith helmets standard issue?? This was my major distraction while watching Dark Night of the Scarecrow, which otherwise is a pretty good movie for ‘81.

Solid, tension-laced, revenge story w/ barely any scarecrow actually in it. Still clears our white board bet!

6 cabins

Prisons of the Sun is our entry for “mummies” and it sure is a movie that was made! This SyFy quality flick starring Gimli as the bad guy is basically Tron but with mummies as filtered thru that Ancient Aliens guy meme (as disrespectful as possible).

1 cabins in the woods son of Glóin.

To do the mageddon justice I ALSO watched a no-budget movie on YouTube called “Sugarplum” that’s 45mins long but uses 20 of those minutes to explain (via stick figures) why Santa hates Krampus.
Not the most sophisticated movie I’ve seen but it got the job done

2 rundown cabins

October Moviegeddon Movie 9 is Abigail as I attempt to fulfill the “sugarplum” white board bet based purely on creature design. Both ballerinas full of teeth! Usually I don’t enjoy over the top gore simply for gore’s sake, but Abigail is a masterclass in exploding bodies. Really fun movie!

8 cabins

Since I missed it in theaters, Nosferatu (2024) was an easy pick for the “vampire” white board bet. Lit beautifully, expertly paced, stunning production design. A wonderfully modern successor to a genre tentpole. This is the proper way to do a remake imo. What a great movie!

9 coffins in the woods

Movie 8 is Evil Dead (2013). Somehow I’d never seen this? Lucky me tho! That means I can cross “Deadites” off. This missed the mark for me. It was fine, I guess? Somehow both too similar & too different from the source material to be a worthy successor (Evil Dead Rises otoh!)
4 literal wooded cabins

Moviegeddon Bonus! I went off my prepped list in hopes that Bring Her Back would qualify for our “reanimated” betting slot & while it didn’t quite do that it IS one of the scariest movies I’ve seen in ages. Pacing, acting, foley - all stellar. You should def watch it.

10 cabins in 10 woods.

Wait. No. I think I’m doing this flick a disservice. This is a movie that knew it was terrible & leaned in harder than any movie ever has.

There’s something to admire about that level of dedication. Maybe we can all learn something from Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.

Checking off the “snowman” bet is Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.
This sure is a movie that I watched with my own eyes. Somehow a banana allergy saves the day? I’m still unclear.

Shoutout to Doug Jones for having the foresight to only stay alive 90 seconds.
1 cabins in the snow

Hell Comes to Frogtown is Movie 5, our Mutants entry

Exactly what I expected from an ‘88 flick w/ Roddy Piper as the last fertile man in a post-apoc world of mutant frogs & matriarchal cops.
Shoutout to the best part in the movie - the frogs! Designed by Predator MUA Steve Wang
4 rundown cabins

Ever find yourself crying how does this movie still have 40mins left?

The Love Witch clears “sexy witches” off the board. They nailed the look of a satirical 1960s film, but then contributed no more substance to the screen. Great makeup, costumes, & concept - yet somehow so boring

2 woods 0 cabins

Our 3rd moviegeddon entry checks off the “Witches” whiteboard bet!

Bell, Book, & Candle - A tale of a witch that wrecks Jimmy Stewart’s happy life to spite his finance, who she hated in college. He doesn’t seem to care so it’s fine I guess? Aside from those details not a bad movie!

5 roofie cabins

October Moviegeddon! Movie 2!
Death of a Unicorn! Honestly I’m surprised this hasn’t been done before. Has it been done before??
This movie tickled me though. Solid concept, well executed. CGI was rough but the gore was well used.

Also Paul Rudd finally looks over 35!!

8 Cabins, sparkly.

Sound quality was a real let down that made lots of dialogue imperceptible. Kudos, though, for the sex worker surviving until the end!

Glad this one is out of the way.

I feel like this will be a long month.

October Moviegeddon!

1st up was The Killing Tree - a fever dream about a possessed Xmas tree.
Surprisingly well acted w/ dope tree costumes & lackluster special effects. It perfectly (unfortunately) fits the Angry Molesting Tree descriptor of this white board bet to a T.

2 Cabins in the Woods

I’ll pack in as many extra movies as schedule allows, but seeing as how I didn’t realize it was October until after my coffee this morning, my hopes aren’t too high. My current record for an October moviegeddon is 73 movies (tho that time had no requirements beyond being horror flicks)

I figured it out! It’s October horror #moviegeddon - Cabin in the Woods Edition.
I’ll be marching my way through the white board bets (order may vary) w/ movies that could inspire the list. I’ll be choosing movies that I haven’t seen - because why not make this harder on myself?

It’s somehow October. Am I at all prepared for my annual month-long horror moviegeddon? No. But did I pick a theme? Also no.

Wish me luck!

illustration showing a large werewolf holding a pumpkin seated next to a woman holding a giant pumpkin in her lap carving it with a small knife. They are in a pumpkin patch under a full moon

It's pumpkin month!!

Open up my skull!

I’m gene-positive for HD, CAG of 43. This is what happens when you divorce science from politics. What a great day

Moviegeddon 2 wraps w/ movie 14 - Legend of Ochi. Adorable movie w/ practical creature animatronics & gorgeous cinematography. Thanks, Romania! Though most plot was revealed thru music/sound instead of dialogue, we still get Willem Defoe saying “strap it in, ass-bags”, so 8/10 Black Sea salt popcorn

Movie 13 was Chronicle! The found footage phase of movies was so stupid. This movie was 10 minutes of interesting action tacked on the end of a 1:25 pointless endeavor that would’ve had me walk out the theater. The first of two times this dir does Michael B Jordan dirty.
2/10 unpopped bland kernels

Day 3! (And final day due to forest fires) kicks off with movie 12, Mickey 17!
What a fun flick! Simple, well executed plot with wonderful production value & solid creature design - all hiding deep moral questions. The tonal opposite of Starship Troopers.

17/10 incredibly slimy popcorns (obviously)

Movie 11 is Pig. A good number of friends worked on this - should never have slept on it. What a stunning movie. Nicolas Cage must be the best actor of his generation & spends the entire movie on the verge of bursting. Such control, god damn.

10/10 (he would never eat popcorn lets just use numbers)

Movie 10! The King. It was pretty okay? Lots went on but felt rather empty of action and plot - which, to be fair, is likely much of history. Pretty tho! Props to Batman w/ an awkward French accent telling Timothy Chalamet to quit speaking French. Joel Edgerton was standout as always. 5/10 le pops

Complete tonal shift with KPop Demon Hunters as movie 9!
Much like “Hobo With a Shotgun” & “Throw Mama From the Train” this flick delivers exactly what the title promises. All around extremely well done & enjoyable.
7/10 Kpopcorn (listen, I know this one is weak - movie 8 tuckered me out)

Movie 8! It’s Such A Beautiful Day

I’m a wreck. This is a deeply emotional film about a stick figure named Bill & the degenerative disease that ravages him & his family. If you - like me - experience that daily bring tissues.

Any movie that can use a leaf blower scene to make me weep gets 10/10

Movie 7 - Sisu!
Tarantino wishes.

9/10 gold nugget popcorns bags carried on his back thru the entire movie, all while pickaxing his way to the bank. (And so no one has to worry the dog is just fine and remains adorable)