Spinachguy14

If I were president everyone would get paid to be nice, all restaurants would be good, and all marathons would happen in the middle of nowhere so we don’t have to look at them.

Alvin Einstein has come back to life and he’s real mad

A cookie box. The background is outer space, and the space ship from Star Trek: TNG soars across the top. Beneath the words "Star Trek The Next Generation Honey Graham Cookies" are a belt of tan cookies shaped like characters from the series

Star Trek: The Next Generation Honey Graham Cookies (1994-1995): A Canadian release, these honey-graham cookies were shaped like characters and ships from the show, and offered a collection of six hologram stickers

If you’re trying to renew your source code it’s all about getting some whenever you can and by some I mean handfuls of dry egg shells

I’m feeling sad, while this isn’t sad news, I was hoping for bigger better news.

Why are people always talking about their grandkids? Get a life!!

I’m really really excited. If it’s not pleasing I’m going to be really sad, it might ruin my day

Just inserted Rio Jenesis Warp 10 where it belongs minutes ago and I’ve already lost hair where I didn’t know was possible. Thanks Jiang!

He was surely wet this time last year, but right now he’s very very dry.

You’re a regular Bilbo

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I can use as much as you can spare!!!

I could crawl there from my house and I will crawl there when you come

This is very unfortunate. I live in the other part of Massachusetts.

They have made Sun Chips 100% illegal

Rhode Island is in Massachusetts

Have you considered how cool and sweet every single animal and plant and whatever else critter is?

I bet they will say the R word on SNL this year

He’s being genetically engineered. Part turkey part bucket of shit. It’s only natural

No thanks, I prefer to play penultimate frisbee

Baudrillard’s pumpkin blew my freshman mind

Who is Tandem Smith?

Watching videos of the Amish using an escalator for the first time is as good as it gets

I’m a big fan of putting vax blocker in my yogurt but tvp is definitely poison

How much do you think people would pay to watch an Italian American eat a sandwich?

I love pasta don’t you love pasta?

Private schools should not exist.

People really need to be saying this so much more

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Italians eat soup, salad, and bread sticks at every meal

I’ve never seen a Spider-Man movie but I know enough that they should stop making them and all other marble movies