cake 🫧 stereotypical plant guy

SAME 😭

i like to hang up pictures on the wall and go “this must be what home ownership is like”

the sims? you mean the unlimited budget house decorating simulator?

mine have been sitting on my counter for weeks 😂

you should probably replace your windshield wipers

she’s too young to really do it properly, so she just stands up instead i guess lmao

some personal experience *may* have been involved, but nobody can prove that

PSA that’s definitely unrelated to anything that’s happened to me: if you hang plants from a curtain rod, you need a center support

i like your optimism. i’m in

that’s the spirit. imagine the possibilities!

you’re absolutely goddamn right i could

do you know what i could do with a waffle iron??

i’m almost 30 why don’t i have a waffle iron

it’s a maranta, aka prayer plant, so named because they close their leaves upright at night, like praying hands 🙏

allegedly they’re really sensitive plants and kill themselves over everything so we’ll see how this goes lol

i got another plant

they were fresh out of the fall of an empire, but they had a deal on christofascist oligarchies. one for the price of two!

i’m going to the store do you guys want anything

I’ve heard that as well! I’ve also discovered lactose-free ricotta & mozzarella that’s still real cheese & therefore tastes & feels like real cheese, so that’s a win. Boursin also makes a lactose-free spread with coconut oil that’s pretty good. Most milk & cheese “alternatives” are….bad. lol

this sounds fake, i’m in. i’ve been testing my tolerance of different diary products because apparently i can handle some but not others. this sounds like it follows the same logic 😂 thanks for the tip lol

ok so like what if lactaid doesn’t help, are you just boned or is there another cheese secret

it’s only been….four months. wow i guess that was a long summer huh lmao

i’ve been opening this app with nothing to say for weeks. i haven’t had anything to say on here in like a year. i racked up like 20k tweets in the same amount of time because i couldn’t shut tf up, but now suddenly i’ve got nothing to say 😂

i’d like it to be known that i’ve settled in and now i’m too old and tired to relocate to a new social media platform

i should be used to reality being even dumber than the most unhinged meme by now

today was such a great day

it’s september and the weather is has finally dropped below 100° which means seasonal depression is almost over god bless

i guess there are some things about reddit that are true no matter where you are

i’ve been sticking to the hobby plant & gardening subs because people are generally more sufferable when they like stuff, & i got into an argument about the ethics of using AI in a native plant subreddit, of all places? like…i kinda thought we all had some ecological sense here lol

i redownloaded reddit when tiktok went down and came back weird, but i think i have to delete it again because the vibes are just so terrible. it’s like impossible to find a social media niche that’s not full of professional assholes or something

byakuya kuchiki would have authentic labubus