𝒜𝓁𝓎𝓈𝓈𝒶 🔞

"I don't get it either, she found out what I was and actually asked me if I could drink a bit of her blood and taste how much estrogen was in it, but I guess it works out for both of us."

Gender-affirming vampire who does bloodwork (by taste testing it) for trans people doing DIY HRT, is that anything?

Doug Dimmadome's hat but it's an anime character's sword that's so big that it literally never completely fits in the frame

Lukewarm take: dom-leaning switches are usually better doms than exclusive doms, because they understand what subs enjoy and how to make them submit better from their own experience subbing

Not kinkshaming anyone, but findom is one of the like, four kinks that I still don't get. Like, do you also get off thinking about exploitative economic systems and business practices? If I suddenly got an itch for being exploited for financial gain, I'd start working in retail again.

I will never understand how people can know so little about their own car. Like fair enough if you don't know about cars in general, but this is the most expensive or second most expensive thing you own, and you use it every day.

Seriously, the air conditioner scene is scarier than most horror movies for adults and it happens in the first act of a kids' movie about talking appliances

Just watched The Brave Little Toaster for the first time in at least 20 years and what the hell was going on in the 80s where kids' movies were just straight up nightmare fuel???

For the last time, the unisex bathroom is for masturbating.

"uni" = "one"
"sex" = "sex"
It's literally the "sex for one" bathroom smh

The "family bathroom" is for getting knocked up in, that's why it's called the family bathroom, you're supposed to start a family in there

Emailed my timesheet to the HR lady like 20 minutes after it was technically supposed to be due with "Here's my time sheet, I hope I got it in on time!"

She replied with "You did!! Good job!!" and I'm gonna need to keep some backup underwear at work if she's gonna keep talking to me like that >\\\<

My puppygirl ass finally getting around to watching Chainsaw Man and WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT HOW HARD THEY GO ON THE PETPLAY IN THIS

Who had a better glow-up: werewolves or witches?

What's wild is this has been my go-to tire place since I started driving, and they've never had any problems before...but they did a huge remodel since last time I went there, I wonder if they're under new management and the new management just ruined everything

"yeah so it turns out your car is a deathtrap. Good thing you came here to fix it. Oh, wait, never mind, we don't have the stuff you ordered to fix it...well, good luck driving home, I guess!"

And then dude comes back and he's like "yeah your tires are super old and really unsafe" and it's like...yeah, I know, that's why I'm here. And then he tells me the tires I ordered are running super late and won't be in for another week???

Went to the tire shop and they wanted to do a "safety check" of my car before putting the tires I already ordered on, like, okay, you don't gotta try and sell me on getting new tires, I already bought them.

Anybody else compulsively pretend that therapy is helping you because you don't want your therapist to feel like a failure?

Like "damn this isn't really helping at all but I know they're really trying and I appreciate the effort and I don't want them to feel like they're just bad at their job"

Hey Google uhhhh what the fuck?

Chef Excellence, a decade plus old Ashens meme

Was assigned to make an extremely dry PowerPoint for work about "synergy" and other buzzwords, and my boss asked me to add pictures to it.

Guess what picture I used for the slide about "excellence"?

"hey can you fix society, the climate, and the environment?"
"best we can do is a sweaty fitbit and a $20 doordash card"

Lmao what is this ad I saw on reddit

"Are you a depressed zoomer? Wear this fitbit for a year and send us everything it learns about you and we'll give you some gift cards and let you keep the fitbit as payment (it's been soaking in your sweat for a year and we do not want it back)"

It feels like there's this weird gap between "sub-$3000 car that runs and drives but you better not be picky about how it looks or drives" and "$20k+ certified pre-owned car that's basically just as nice as a brand new one"

Still do not understand red states' hesitance towards legalizing weed. Like you got all this farmland and you're telling me you don't want to grow a crop that sells by the ounce? You could grow the worst weed anyone has ever seen and it's still gonna net you more money per acre than corn.

Puppygirls are what happens when a regular dog gets bitten by a werewolf

Oh boy I love getting charged $250 for a service I was told would be covered at no cost to me and then not being able to pay the bill because the payment website is broken. Anyone wanna join me for a protest outside of L*bcorp HQ? All trans bitches invited.

Inside view of a waffle iron that makes 6 dog treat-shaped waffles

Outside view of a waffle iron that makes 6 dog treat-shaped waffles with a paw print shaped handle

Outstanding thrift store find for this puppygirl, cannot wait to start making some treats in this thing

Everyone acknowledges that electric cars are less than ideal for long trips, but they don't really make sense in cities either. They only really work in the rapidly disappearing suburbs. It's like a version of the future built for a dying past.

It feels weird to be saying this in 2025, but electric cars feel like a fad. The main selling point of them is the ability to charge them in your garage overnight, but fewer and fewer people every year own a home with a garage they can install a charger in.

Free land lease approved for Elon Musk's The Boring Company's Nashville travel tunnel, despite public outcry Despite intense public outcry and questions, a state board approved a free land lease for The Boring Company's Nashville tunnel project. They can start digging at the state lot whenever they're ready.

www.newschannel5.com/news/tenn-ap... I see somebody forgot how often Nashville floods. Thank goodness Teslas are well-known for not having any problems related to getting wet.

I straight up do not understand how you can come up with a take as vile as "r*ape basically never happens and anyone who pretends it's even remotely common is just being political" unless parts of your brain are literally rotting in your skull