Amy Long

How windy is it? It’s “ I’m not a green witch, but if I were, I’d be scared for my sister and her shoes.” windy.

My body picked a good administration to develop both gastro paresis and diverticulitis. Ohh with diabetes as an underlying cause. I can’t eat much anymore anyway.

Some days I wish I had the money to waste by buying a baerskin hoody putting it on my fat body and prancing about with it and a tutu. The thought of purposely using it to take some of the MANLY marketing makes me happy. I’m open to adding rainbows and flowers on it. I have needles and thread.

You know what they say

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away?”

Ohh you sweet summer child no, that was for last century now we say

“”A cup or ramen a day keeps the debt collector at bay”, who can afford an apple every day?”

I have a very bad feeling about this...

When was a child in the late 70’s 80’s. “DON’T talk with your mouth full, it’s gross and hard to understand you.”

Now “maybe you can mute your phone when eatting on a zoom?”

Yeah, nah, still not gonna do Disney or ABC for a while. All they’ve done is shown they really only care about my eyeballs on their ads.

Heads up trumpers if you are going to not use headphones, or turn down your hill song shit when asked, then you should not be surprised when you next look up and the chick next to you is playing Walpurgisnacht on her phone so you can see it too.

Are you okay sir? You seem pale.

Okay, seriously, knitters known and unknown, “why do we make bottom up sweaters”?

This seems to me to be the biggest pain in the bottom since purl three together. And by that I mean I dropped almost as many stitches trying to join sleeves as I had left on the needles.

Why?

I trust steak tartare from a food truck with no refrigerator in August more than Ghislaine Maxwell

To me he doesn’t look like a baby in that photoshopped picture.

To me it looks like a garage pail kid card. I’m serious add some lotion and a couch and he’s a highly collectable card that came with surprisingly stale gum.

I fell for one of these once. It was a fake spectrum Halloween pet costume contest.

I feel no guilt. I mean what if it were real? Then I would have missed kittens dressed as dragons.

Now I just don’t open my email.

So have we figured out the sound track for today’s news? So far I’ve hit Christmas at ground zero and so long mom

I’ve never prayed so hard for taco.

As I struggle with a simple, but badly written pattern ( line by line but with do these lines like these, so I have to skip all over the tiny pdf in my phone) I wonder why I don’t just write my own.

Math. The answer is math.

When your motorcycle is bigger than a compact car, you do NOT look like a rebel. You look like a 80 year old asshole maga whose children went no contact after the first time you voted for orange shit. Good luck paying for it with all the social security cuts you wanted.

Why yes, no problem, I can definitely work with a new fiber and do split rings for fun. This is totes fun. Totes.

When you’re TIPping in public and see some one CIPping. “Are you doing a magic loop? Can I stand behind you and watch?”

Still a mystery, and I work with slip knots all the time.

We are all yarners here.
(Tating In Public, Crocheting In Public)

Has Waffle House closed? Has Jim showed up? Did Ted Cruz have a vacation? If you answer yes to any of these….

Thanks for encouraging talk. It’s gonna take a while to fix this….assuming I can see it well enough to.

I know you just wanted to ask me what I was making. And I know you didn’t mean to be a fucking annoyance while I was kitchering a toe, but now my toe is fucked up because you just HAD to encourage me in my “lost art” and while I was in a dark fucking blue stripe.

Some days, some days you just need to go look at cats. Thank you internet. Thank you for the cats.

Oh he is working hard for us. Look at that face. That’s a face saying I am not paid enough for this.

Tiny man, tiny party. Good thing he’s not into size matters, otherwise his tiny feelings might get hurt.

Ad for Mickey D…oh temping, but as long as people need to be disappeared from a traffic stop? No, I haven’t forgotten that damn photo op with fries. You didn’t want my money anyway, you’d rather I spend it on health care.

You know what’s really good with cookies? Some milk, would you like to share some milk with me? I have cookies.

Oh yes.

So precious little Barron didn’t have the grades, and Daddy didn’t have the money to buy a building. And this is why we can’t have nice things.