Listening to country

Christ everyday with this question!

Or if you’re a lefty you can tangle with my allllmost fully healed opossum bite and my HFMD sores!

Oh hi there would you like to touch hands with me?

Mine is more of a “shitty Linerider track” trend over the last year. But in a great spot currently!

Ohhhh das nice

This morning my fart was so loud and abrasive that my 2 1/2 year old almost cried she was so startled.

After I apologized she told me that I “needed to wipe”.

Suffering from Hand/Foot/Mouth Disease for the second time on my adult life and it sucks dingus.

With $2.7 billion settlement approved, college sports' big money era is officially here The settlement in House v. NCAA brings an end to the NCAA's long-standing tradition of amateurism. Starting this fall, schools will be able to pay players directly up to a salary cap of $20.5 million.

The settlement in House v. NCAA brings an end to the NCAA's long-standing tradition of amateurism. Starting this fall, schools will be able to pay players directly up to a salary cap of $20.5 million.

CHSN sunsetting their OTA coverage in Chicago is the biggest prick move and just a terrible overall decision!

Whatever you do, I’d avoid the boardwalk right now. Seen them racket boys getting ready for something.

Thinking about the booster box of Mirrodin that me and my cousin went halfsies on back in 2003 at the ripe age of 12.

To have that many packs to crack made me feel like a king.

Is that Japanese Breakfast?

Polite but nervous.

Those both fall into my “watched these when I was 12-15 years old and have no clue what it was about.”

What’s at the top of the list? Sideways.

Headline published in The Washington Post, Washington DC, April 4, 1916 that says SERVED MORPHINE WITH POTATOES. Detectives Discover Cause of Restaurant's Remarkable Popularity.

HE SERVED MORPHINE WITH MASHED POTATOES SAN FRANCISCO, May 6.-The unusual popularity of Mikle Ade's res- taurant was accounted for when De- tective Nelson Mathewson discovered *hat Mike served morphine with mashed potatoes. Men ard women were seen slinking• in, hands trembling, lips quivering, their eyes dull. When patrons emerged their step was buoyant, their lips wreathed in smiles and their eyes a-sparkle. Mathewson paid for a meal and plunged a fork into the center of the dish of mashed potatoes and penel trated the secret. Ade was arrested, charged with violating the state poison law.

we used to be a proper country

What do the gooners know that I don’t?

CORMAC MCCARTHY: He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.

JOE ROGAN: sure. I've met guys like that

Shit! I disagree but respect your opinion!

Ex Machina!

Drinking and giving Limp Bizkit credit for work on the album Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. I need an intervention!

A colleague of mine said they were their favorite band. That same colleague bragged that they listened to 27 different genres of music according to Spotify Wrapped.

The order of the veiled sack!

I stole this from inzanelyrejected so I could make this joke:

Their best work was Defeathered in the Cluckatorium.

HBO Max Keeble’s Big Move

It happened!

Thanks to the purchase of X Sport by LA Fitness, my $15 a month shithole turned into an shithole with LA Fitness branding.

Now that shithole is permanently closed and I’m grandfathered in on $15 a month for any LA in Illinois!

I’m quickly approaching 34 and I’m worried I’m gonna be making ironic food review videos in my car by the time I turn 35.

It’s like Thinner but with embarrassing middle aged white men content instead of weight.

What are your thoughts on my former Mayor and elite math nerd, Daniel Biss, entering the race?

RedLetterMedia would have never

You reactionary click bait son of a gun. Get out of here with this narrow defined goonery. Get thee to a nunnery!

@nbcchicago.com out here getting a gotcha reaction out of Michelle and Evrod with that Weekend Update segment!