Just eat it…

Hoping this account brings me peace, pictures of dogs, dirty memes, and lots of laughter.

a stuffed animal with a pink bow on its head is holding a green pickle . ALT: a stuffed animal with a pink bow on its head is holding a green pickle .

Follow me for more exciting stuff!

Someone take me to the wild side if this app…

We need a THICC thigh Thursday for sure. Some of these poetry tweets are 😴

What day is boob day around here?

What you mf’ers doing today?

Especially you!

Where are the boobs? Are there no boobs here? What kinda site is this? Send boobs!

Stay moist my friends! Yes you. 😉

Not even sure

Whatever you do, do not gif search “butt sniffer”

how is it only tuesday

I feel like cocaine would make life easier at this point.

Lick it and pass it…

I wanna taste the muffin top

I wanna see the cake…

sex, drugs and Neil Diamond

Maybe not. There was no coffee 😉

Hey 👋

My toddler has been crying for 10 minutes because my husband told her that one day she’ll be grown up, and frankly I get it

“it’s bad luck to clink with an empty glass” i say, filling mine with macaroni salad

*stretches

My neck, my back... Gladiator in MX4D, wth was I thinking!

[sees an old man with a tattoo] *whispers to self* gramp stamp

Do. Not. Move.
Once a cat knows you're awake you're screwed.

i’m sorry i panicked and said “meep meep” when you told me your grandmother died

DM me, I dare ya…