Justin

As the old joke goes: "How do I know getting kicked in the balls hurts more than pregnancy? I've never been kicked in the balls and thought 'I should do that again' two years later"

And they mixed up the charts so instead of a tonsillectomy you're getting your arms amputated.

STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN'

I mean I'm generally stupid and wrong so that hypothesis checks out.

Ok, but what if things have to hit rock bottom before humanity decides it has to get its collective shit together?

It's pure projection. They want the moral police breaking down doors and arresting anyone who is different so they assume we want the same.

Ok, I'll be that guy. You don't miss book fairs you miss being a kid again.

Charisma is convincing someone to buy your tomato based fruit salad.

If a movie studio would have the cajones to do a gritty lube action Batmite I'd be impressed.

They say that our morality will improve if we put the Bible in schools, but that hasn't seemed to have worked in churches.

Happy New Year to the hundreds of bots who follow me (and the 5 or so humans too I suppose)

pepperoni and pineapple is my favorite. Sweet and spicy

Nobody makes memes about the honest copper merchants.

"OH... YES... HO HO HO."

The war on Christmas will continue until the illegal occupation of November ends.

I don't go to Starbucks normally, but now I'm doing it for a good cause!

Ketchup is blended fruit and sugar. Therefore, it's a smoothie.

They hit the government where it hurts. They showed what the government should be.

"We should run the govt like a business! You know, get rid of all the waste!"

"Oh, if we're looking for waste we should start at the police and military budgets"

"N...no... not like that...."

Forgot that he's part of the "liberal media"

Simple bills for simple people.

You'd think so, but Reagan is still well remembered...

That's the sort of thing you'd have to get from a guy in an alley.

Just imagine how much better this country would be if we held our leaders to the standard of your average McDonald's employee.

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Immigrants just do the jobs Americans are unwilling to do. Like marry Trump

Yeah! It's an entitlement in the same way that I'm entitled to the money in my bank account

I want to say that Soos wouldn't be a Magat, but then again his father figure is a grifter

I remember for the longest time the shorthand for portraying a character as a morally bankrupt businessman was giving them a bad comb over and a name rhyming with Trump

"Immigrants are coming to America and ruining our country!"

"Why would you say that?"

"Because that's what I would do."