Alasdair Beckett-King

The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS) *fresh! Sisyphean! comedy!* Monkey Barrel, One 23:55-02:45ish Sundays-Wednesdays August 3-6, 10-13, 17-20, 24 £8.50/PWYW on exit noblefailure.org tinyurl.com/acms25 monkeybarrelcomedy.com AltComMemSoc theacms | #ACMS

#ACMS
🗓️ TONIGHT!
🏰 @monkeybarrelcomedy.bsky.social One
🕛 23:55-laaaate
🎟️ £8.50 advance edfringe.com/tickets/what... or PWYW on exit
😻 hosted by @turlygod.bsky.social & @rialina.com, with @naomipaxton.bsky.social, @misterabk.bsky.social, Kathy Maniura, Paul Savage, @vixleyton.bsky.social, AND MORE

I actually do this in the show.

www.pleasance.co.uk/event/alasda...

You can't call far-right protesters racist without someone getting offended. It's political incorrectness gone mad.

The fact that the one game made by an explicitly communist co-op game studio now has three successor studios making a self-proclaimed sequel to it, and dispute the legitimacy of the other two is, of course, the most communist outcome possible.

(It did sell out yesterday, but I am too humble to mention that.)

A crop of the poster for my show, featuring me and a little devil. I have drawn piratical accoutrements onto me and the devil for no reason.

Tip: if you want to get tickets to my show tonight you should buy them NOW because if you buy them tomorrow it will be too late due to the constraints of linear time as we experience it.

www.pleasance.co.uk/event/alasda...

I shared an Edinburgh flat with David years ago. He's a hoot!

The Directed Detective Two hosts. One of them has plotted a murder mystery. The other must direct the detective and solve the case within ten episodes.

I just started listening to this new-ish podcast, on @steffanalun.bsky.social's recommendation. Guy 1 is writing a murder mystery and guy 2 is directing the detective's next move, like whodunit D&D. It's the kind of thing you'd probably like if you follow me.

www.thedirecteddetective.com/2253345

Have you heard of County Durham?

Thank you for coming!

MAN: What's that, girl? Trouble at the old mine?
LEFT-WING LASSIE: Woof! [The miners are striking for better pay and conditions]
MAN: B-but Billy's down there!
LEFT-WING LASSIE: Woof! [BILLY'S A SCAB]

Edy Hurst’s Wonderfull Discoverie of Witches in the Countie of Himself

Starts its @edfringe.bsky.social run today!

2.20pm Roxy Downstairs

Witches. Vengaboys. “Nothing Else.”

A clip from comedy blog Chortle, Tim Harding's most anticipated Ed Fringe shows. I am described as "One of the very last young comics to get TV work before an iron curtain fell around panel shows"

"ABK ... One of the very last young comics" - Chortle.

Trans people poured their hearts into this consultation. The EHRC won't even bother to read them.

The Three Tenors. As in like TENNERS. 10 English pounds, three of them is thirty, which you'd need THREE TENORS. You get it now?

£30

Erm... thank you!

horrible accident at the recap factory. no one can tell us what happened

Pray God he is not.

Ah yes, Simon Simon and Alvin Garfunkel.

Sad: Two men hit it off, but can never be friends because their names are Alvin and Simon.

Please don't plug keyboards or other devices into random USB ports, ok?

I forgot to include the link: www.pleasance.co.uk/event/alasda...

* I think I intended for me to be calling the person on the phone madam, but I have drawn the speech bubble the wrong way around and now the phone is calling me madam.

The show graphic is me holding an old telephone receiver. I have written "Cheap Tickets???" and a speech bubble saying "Aye Madam! Wed 30 & Thurs 31 July". I think I intended for me to be calling the person on the phone madam, but I have drawn the speech bubble the wrong way around and now the phone is calling me madam.

The 2-for-1 days seem to have sold out, but you can still get cheap tickets to the preview dates of ABK: King of Crumbs, tomorrow and Thursday. Buy now! Something will almost definitely go wrong and you will see the panic in my eyes!

Many people are saying this.

Mockery Manor Podcast | Long Cat Media

Just in case you don't know, Mockery Manor is a terrific mystery/comedy podcast and I play a couple of characters in Series 2, I think:

www.longcatmedia.com/mockery-manor

Someone holding open a workbook jotter containing cryptic coded notes.

More ephemera from the game including a menu from the Unidentified Frying Objects diner.

More cool-looking clues, including a spoof of the popular 90s kids' organiser Funfax.

Don't zoom in! There are bound to be spoilers. Very pleased to see that the spirit of Funfax lives on in our hearts. Look at all this stuff!

I can't wait to play the Mockery Manor Murder Mystery Game from @longcatmedia.bsky.social! But I have to wait, because I'm on the train to Edinburgh. So here are some pictures, because it looks so cool...

"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have." I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame? I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti.

“I don’t understand,” I growled, my body trembling with pain. “I combined eighty percent Earth-elemental mana with twenty percent Fire-elemental mana (Type B), focused through a twenty-four-sided icositetragon made of yellow topaz. This, in conjunction with my blood type, star sign, sense of humor, and nickname, should have produced a blazing column of lightning to vaporize my enemies. Instead, it made a big bubble that smells like fresh laundry. Why?” Skullgrumbler began to laugh. “You fool! You don’t even realize…” he squealed. “You’re facing east!”

“It’s whatever you want,” explained Magemaster Grampledog. “Magic is just whatever you want.” I knew he was speaking in riddles, but I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning. “So the rules are…” Grampledog lit a sliver of smokereed. “No rules. You say some words and you wave a stick and whatever you want just happens. You don’t even need the stick.” His wisdom still eluded me. I stared into his face, trying to decipher what he was really saying. “No, listen.” Grampledog snapped his fingers and his desk turned into a pile of chicken nuggets. “I didn’t even know that would happen.” His hat then came alive and began to yodel. “It’s pandemonium,” he explained. “It’s complete nonsense.”

In my experience there are three kinds of fantasy magic novels: