Gallifreyan Jedi

What if Jon Stewart ran for President? What if Stephen Colbert ran for President? What if John Oliver ran for President? What if Seth Meyers ran for President? What if a fart ran down your pants and into your socks and your foot exploded you goofy childish motherfucker

nothing will ever be good enough for the 3 bros

I've lived under republican rule for 45 years where have you been

Democracy is not allowed in the united states, but pretending like we have it is mandatory

it's the same unlimited money and weapons with no conditions that biden provided and harris promised to continue providing, please leave your cult

you're doing the bit

you are a senator

it's worth considering, in a vacuum, but as long as we're doing capitalism, capitalism will always buy everything

gently calling in my best friend whose mass murder of thousands of innocent children has finally begun to relfect upon me

candidate 1: i will kill you and your family

candidate 2: i will only kill half of your family, and maybe not you

candidate 3: I won't kill anybody, what the hell, that's so fucked up

Too many of you: Candidate 3 will just take votes from candidate 2, who we must elect to save democracy

what a day to say this shit

talkabouta jolly roger

oh he thinks it's worse

gonna get my account turned off for saying fuck to a billionaire

any dipshit with a billion dollars can afford an accounting firm that knows how to avoid taxes entirely

it's always been funny how the rich need to be incentivized but the working class needs to be disciplined

corp taxes are already at zero what the fuck are you talking about

that's dumb af dude, kamala also threw trans rights under the bus

Anyone equating Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union in 2025 is just doing fascism.

Mommy's face is obviously doing something that looks a whole lot like vanishing and reappearing but it’s really hard to know exactly what’s happening behind her hands

people who still believe the democratic party is opposed to the republican agenda are gonna get us all killed

follow up question, do you wanna suck my dick(derogatory) from the back or the front?

just a question for those who denied the genicide during the biden administration and refused to call on him or harris to withdrawal weapons and funding, how do you feel that she lost to an open nazi because of it? any regrets or nah?

james carville: *furiously taking notes* gawl dang he's cookin like a lost gator in a miami parking lot hoooweee

*andrew cuomo voice* the shining city is upside down in the toilet when your half brother's uncle in the adriondaks can't wank without a permit and that's why I'm calling on zorhan mamdani to stay out of the damn grocery stores so hungry people can buy that food instead if he's such a goodytwoshoes

how can you complain about shitty people doing bad things that suck when someone shittier is doing a worse thing that sucks more?

me: this bad thing sucks and the person doing it is shitty

a thousand online randoms wearing the same confident smirk of self assured rhetorical victory: oh well then you must LOVE this other shitty person who also does bad things that suck!

viscerally, i recoil at this, but practically, i never played ff8 so you could be right for all i know

Tell me again how Gavin is the hope for the future and trans women were being unreasonable to pledge not to vote for him.

Tell me again how excited you are for him to run, you marks, you stooges.

And then we'll wait a week, and he'll disgrace himself again.

CUM to build a new NYC there's no way someone smarter than me hasn't already thought of this