Zap (they/them)

Dayton show tonight.

Finally got back into my account. The app was messing up BADDDD on my old phone.

I like them. But I don't like like them.

Peter flies away when Joe threatens to cry.

New TrumpTrackr entry: Trump's Executive Order attempting to give himself the power to issue authoritative interpretations of the law, a power granted to the JUDICIAL Branch. This is notable due to Trump's recent failures at enacting his EO's due to court orders.

publish.obsidian.md/trumptracker...

I wanna peg Jason Lee. #JasonLee #mynameisearl

Big nose big hose

I like to look on Google maps at small towns and the food they have at white run Mexican food restaurants. Disgraceful.

If you want to make America healthy again, cutting staff and funding the agency tasked to make our food supply safe and accessible is not the way to go about helping people.

Excuse me madam, may I see your jersey kittens?

Randy Newman needs to be on a list for that song about short people. #randynewman

Google calender thinks it can erase Black History month, Indigenous people's day, Pride month and many others. But it can't. Don't forget to add them back on the calender if it's something you still use. #Google #googlecalender #lgbtq #blackhistorymonth #indigenouslivesmatter #blacklivesmatter

When i was in a remedial math class (middle school) one kid put their finger up another kids asshole bc their pants were sagging. It was 10 am wtf.
Remembering things is stupid.
#middleschoolstories

This part. What will the sewer gators do?

I had a fever dream that Trump changed his name to Shrimp. He was serious about it, too. 100% wanted to change flags and crap.

This is so cryptic

If you vape or smoke by an entrance to a building, you deserve to get your ass beat. Idgaf anymore. I'm highly allergic to menthol. People shouldn't have to boss battle a gd caterpillar just for clean air. Especially if it's a doctors office. Fuck

Nothing funnier than the gay group of friends saying the f slur together. Especially after we just got mad at an outside person saying it in malice.
**not every person is okay with it please ask everyone if they're okay with it before doing this.**

I thought he was on his way out wtf

Ey baby what that mouth do?
I'LL FUCKN TELL YA. IT BLEEDS OK. I FLOSS, BLOOD. BRUSH? BLOOD. IF I EAT A CRACKER THE WRONG WAY I HAVE TO GO TO THE BLOOD BANK FOR A TOP OFF.

We are going to run out of peanuts this year. Idk why this isn't more talked about.

You are a fucking dumb ass bitch if you don't spay and neuter your pets. Big stupid. Idgaf if you think it's a business. The world doesn't need more inbred backyard puppies or dogs whose father is them bc of DNA bros.

We are sorta soupless out here. My fellow soupless Americans.

No <3

Tried mixing Mexican alcohol with 20th century American literature last night.

Ended up with tequila mockingbird

He’s gonna call the plane Mexican.

If you wanted to decrease the cost of homes, one thing you wouldn’t do is put a flat tariff on your main source of timber.

I'd spread ass for Hank Green but not John.