Seán-Patrick Burke's Avatar

Seán-Patrick Burke

@jawsvthereturn.bsky.social

Writer. Pirate. A third thing. My profile header is a selfie taken 10 seconds before that black bear lunged at me, but it's ok because black bears are like a cross between house cats & the most dangerous animal you've ever encountered.

693 Followers  |  1,032 Following  |  3,304 Posts  |  Joined: 02.06.2023  |  2.1998

Latest posts by jawsvthereturn.bsky.social on Bluesky

I just need to repeat this solid fact that would be reinforced by data and whatnot: I didn't edit that screenshot one bit. It's so fucking weird.

10.11.2025 20:07 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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#NSFW why is it content creators who discuss marijuana / cannabis constantly get censored or demonitized, but I'm watching a video sponsored by a plumber using a photo of a naked woman? (Not edited in any way)

10.11.2025 17:52 — 👍 4    🔁 1    💬 2    📌 0

My mom died earlier this year and despite the fact that I wrote a WHOLE NOVEL about a dead mother and trying to come to terms with it (involving switching across alternate universes), it did not remotely prepare me for the reality. It's a shit club I cannot recommend, the Dead Moms Club.

08.11.2025 21:41 — 👍 220    🔁 10    💬 32    📌 3
08.11.2025 20:43 — 👍 1763    🔁 336    💬 14    📌 39
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Last year, we lost horror icon Tony Todd. With his distinctive voice, he left an impact in films like Candyman, Final Destination, Hell Fest, and even Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

His final line in Final Destination: Bloodlines was his improvised words, knowing this would be his last role.

06.11.2025 19:38 — 👍 119    🔁 27    💬 8    📌 3
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Think I'm gonna take the rest of the year off watching the news, it's too exhausting and frustrating. I'll be in the Fiction section if you need me.

07.11.2025 18:07 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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a woman with a shaved head and a red jacket ALT: a woman with a shaved head and a red jacket

I've seen stuff about the movie BUGONIA and thought it looked neat but kind of derivative of a movie I watched a couple years ago, SAVE THE GREEN PLANET!, from South Korea.

Turns out it's a remake.

Sometimes I'm slow. I loved the first, very curious about the new one.

05.11.2025 18:51 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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This is why Mamdani was elected, and why the GOP should be deeply afraid today. Trump has done NOTHING to help the majority of Americans, he's just a sensitive soft-handed little coward who only cares about himself, and his Republican dogs need to stop licking his hand begging for attention.

05.11.2025 17:54 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

It's giving long-bankrupt chain restaurant.

05.11.2025 16:50 — 👍 8    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0
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Jonathan Greenblatt declares war to the death against NYC. What a nutcase. In the meantime, antisemitism goes mainstream in the GOP, and Greenblatt says nothing.

05.11.2025 15:35 — 👍 461    🔁 112    💬 30    📌 10

Lairmore should repay the American taxpayers every cent his hurt little feewies have cost us.

04.11.2025 22:15 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I love bears but I’d love it if they left our trash alone. Third time in a week…

04.11.2025 22:14 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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a muppet with red hair is sitting in front of a curtain ALT: a muppet with red hair is sitting in front of a curtain

Rest in Peace Dick Cheney, tragically killed by a falling baby grand piano while walking down a street having never been held accountable for his war crimes.

04.11.2025 14:20 — 👍 1    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0
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a man in a white coat is standing in a crowd of people . ALT: a man in a white coat is standing in a crowd of people .
03.11.2025 01:26 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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What the hell is Disney+ saying here? I'm not getting anything for free from Hulu, I'm paying monthly for Hulu. This is such annoying corporate speak.

01.11.2025 03:26 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Happy Halloween from the Thing in the woods. ✌️💚🎃

31.10.2025 21:32 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Post image 31.10.2025 04:11 — 👍 19351    🔁 4805    💬 139    📌 101
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a close up of a teenage mutant ninja turtle 's face with a surprised look on his face . ALT: a close up of a teenage mutant ninja turtle 's face with a surprised look on his face .

No weapons involved, just awkwardness, and exhaustion, and a coupla wayward lads grabbing armloads of teenage mutant ninja turtle costumes to presumably sell online.

29.10.2025 02:36 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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a cat wearing a black balaclava on a bed ALT: a cat wearing a black balaclava on a bed

I'm working a temp job at a certain Samhain associated seasonal retail chain (🎃👻) and we got robbed tonight. I went up to the guys in ski masks and asked them nicely to take the masks off, and... they did not, so I had to stay an extra hour to make a police report that will go nowhere. Fun times.

29.10.2025 02:28 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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a meme shows two men talking about a funny experience ALT: a meme shows two men talking about a funny experience

Where are the un-redacted Epstein files?

27.10.2025 14:35 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I love Lake Compounce and I love Blue Öyster Cult but: BÖC has more than one song! I’ve heard “Don’t Fear The Reaper” 5 times since we got here. Let’s have some “Veteran Of The Psychic Wars” or “Flaming Telepaths,” right @stephenking.bsky.social???

26.10.2025 21:56 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

This alone is disqualifying. If this schmuck is gonna LEAVE THE CITY if he loses, he doesn't love the city enough to deserve to win.

26.10.2025 21:23 — 👍 2548    🔁 353    💬 40    📌 23

Once again, the main day of Tea Party protests had about 300,000 nationwide, but saw endless coverage.

The No Kings protests had about 7,000,000 nationwide, and many media outlets reacted with a yawn.

No Kings was nearly 25x as big as the Tea Party but the Tea Party got 25x the attention.

26.10.2025 20:08 — 👍 9006    🔁 2959    💬 203    📌 86

Andrew Cuomo, on the other hand, is a boring Nepo Baby in the worst sense of the term. On behalf of all decent American Italians: fuck that stronzo, I still call that bridge the Tappan Zee.

26.10.2025 16:41 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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a man wearing a red hat and a white shirt is talking and saying `` i will not move '' . ALT: a man wearing a red hat and a white shirt is talking and saying `` i will not move '' .

I'm not an NYC voter and if I was I'd be voting for Zohran Mamdani for a number of reasons, but damn if I don't find Curtis Sliwa fascinating. Like many folk figures, he's deeply flawed, but... how has this guy not had a biopic made of his life? John Gotti tried to murder him!

26.10.2025 16:37 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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a man talking on a payphone with the words " i need to find my daughter " below him ALT: a man talking on a payphone with the words " i need to find my daughter " below him

Went to the Collinsville CT Halloween Parade tonight, saw a guy dressed up like Leonardo DiCaprio in ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER, so I obviously went up to him and said "One Battle After Another?" Thankfully he was delighted, fuck I'm such a dork IRL. #OBAA

26.10.2025 02:20 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Another one. Fucking ads every 10 minutes. Never watching a damn thing on @plex.tv again. God bless Tubi.

24.10.2025 00:52 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Wish I was exaggerating. This is probably the last time I’m watching a movie on @plex.tv, bummer but I’m exhausted by the ads & the frequency is taking me out of the viewing experience.

24.10.2025 00:39 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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a man is peeking out from under a bridge into the water ALT: a man is peeking out from under a bridge into the water

Trying to watch HARD BOILED on @plex.tv and honestly I might DNF on account of the endless ads. Every 10 minutes there’s an ad break of 7-9 ads. This 2 hour movie is gonna take me 3+ to watch. I get they need ads but this is ridiculous.

24.10.2025 00:28 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

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