Utility Dyke

Late stage capitalism is complaining about how your medication is forcing you to eat less due to nausea, but being pleased with the amount of money you’re saving on groceries

Good afternoon! I hate my doctor more than I’ve ever hated any medical professional in my life

My whole work day today is waiting for a package in another state, and I feel like that scene from Scott Pilgrim where he orders something and then waits at the fucking door

Me: I can stay up until 3:00a on Friday! Surely this won’t fuck up my sleep schedule!

Me tonight: I am reaping what I’ve sown

There are a lot of things that annoy me about that fascist idiot, but one of the little ones is that he keeps saying that “grok” comes from Hitchhiker’s Guide.

It comes from Stranger in a Strange Land, and has nothing to do with AI.

And the AI robots in Hitchhiker’s Guide? EVERYONE HATES THEM!

Sorry, is it just gonna be crisis after crisis moving forward? I’m hitting my fucking limit

Snapchat AI tried to add a caption and a filter to one of my nudes the other day and the result is heinous. Please get me out of this future

You know it’s bad when I call my mom

Currently at the frustrating part of “about to go on a business trip” where I don’t want to get groceries or cook because they’re all gonna spoil while I’m gone, but I also don’t want to eat out because work won’t reimburse my card for fast food at home

I adopted two kittens a year ago from a shelter - so now I receive the worlds most heartbreaking emails about other cats every month for the rest of my life

Firing my therapist… getting a haircut… replacing my boots… finally getting involved in my community again…

Love having a job that encourages my primal need to write a 5 page report for everything I do

GAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

Holy shit?

Apparently December is just “fix everything” month for me. Car tomorrow, therapy next week, new doctor the week after, psych the week after that. What the fuck

i wish there was a song for those of us who are not sick, yet arent entirely well either

My Uber driver finally found a worse version of Creep by Radiohead than Radiohead’s recording!

I swear to god, if one more thing goes wrong at work today, I’m committing a misdemeanor for fun

Of course I’m goth. I grew up Catholic

Telling my running app that my last run was a little too easy is the same as saying the edible ain’t shit

I’ve had people walk in on me in public bathrooms twice this week and while I’m certain I’ve just forgotten how to lock doors, I can’t shake the memory of definitely locking these doors

Stayed in a hostel two years ago and only just learned it was a former mafia HQ. I’m so mad I’m learning this so late