Sam Burns

I dreamt that the Bradley Whitford commander from The Handmaid's Tale moved in next door to me and he was a really good neighbour and I woke up feeling strange.

RIP Maru, the bestest cat on the internet.

Top Girls?

Travelling from Galway to Dublin by train next month. The internet tells me that 'the journey is efficient and offers views of green fields and bogland'. I find this strangely charming.

I caught up on Taskmaster and the two old men are definitely my early favourites, not least because they remind me of Barry and Humph. THE VISITORS HAVE BEEN.

My dad's got a cold so soundtrack-wise it's basically like living in a zombie apocalypse.

I wish that headline about zoo staff wanking off an orca would stop sidling past my field of vision every time time I scroll through the news.

Channel 5 revives BBC’s Play for Today to ‘help shape future of British drama’ Series aims to follow original in tackling ‘thornier issues’, and to support talent from lower-income backgrounds

Promising news until I ran into that word 'young', forever confused in commissioning circles as a synonym for 'new'.

I wish I could do something with my Saturdays other than desperately fighting all day to keep my eyelids open.

I might need to time travel back to the eighties though, they seem quite hard to come by now.

I think I want to purchase a three-piece suit.

Back online after 12 days without internet thanks to a fishing boat trawling up a cable near Orkney.

There's an endless cycle of Man About The House on the telly and I'm not very happy about it.

Something's broken under the sink and is spewing out water and the stopcock is jammed, so I guess we just live the aquatic life from now on.

Back to work on Monday after three weeks off.

Any idea how we could stop Monday from happening?

Time for Loyd Grossman to shine again.

It's raining on my washing and I lack the motivation to act.

Boston Legal is LA Law in Boston with Captain Kirk, of course I was going to like it.

Now would be a great time to mow the lawn if I didn't have neighbours.

It's based on the 1982 televised version with the LSO, in which Patience has a Yorkshire-ish accent that the Australian Opera version is clearly aiming for, but sometimes it gets very midlands/Scottish/Welsh/west country/Australian.

I found an Opera Australia production of Patience on YouTube. Deep joy. Though Patience's accent is truly a tour of the British Isles and the Commonwealth.

How I've missed my one true haircut.

I had a vague memory of your being VERY MUCH PRO it, good. It does sound pretty much my sort of thing. I shall give it a go. Thank you!

Is Boston Legal worth watching? (I'm scanning the free catch-up channels for viewing possibilities.)

Getting all my hair cut off again tomorrow. I'm too perimenopausal for hair.

I didn't know Commander Josh Lyman was married to Malcom's mum. (That said, I've probably tweeted that exact sentence before.)

I was very brave today and listened to Le Gorille by Georges Brassens, a song that's terrified me since I was about five. I didn't understand French but someone instinctively knew it was about a gorilla raping a judge. Sometimes you just know stuff.

Did a little whoop at the last Taskmaster contestant reveal.

Matthew's little legs. #taskmaster

YouTube video by brebay Man sneezes into his trombone during concert - Tiptree sneeze

Well done, YouTube. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh8l...