Garfskunksamsara

May Clod above strike down your boss

An image depicting you on the left and me on the right.

An image depicting you on the left and me on the right.

Has this been studied by scientists yet?

troll face

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.

Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

Rest in peace Holy Roman Emperor Rudolf II, you would have loved being a chaser

Thought you’d never ask

Enjoying tiefling tail spins is the gateway drug to the harder (and objectively funnier) spinning a character with a penis as fast as you can. From my diligent studies, penis 4 has the best aerodynamics

Need to get back into ultimate myself. l’m the filthiest Luigi main this side of rural Leicestershire but I could be the greatest Luigi main in the entire East Midlands if I grind

Joyce Carol Oates should say he can't do backflips off the roof next

I’m crazy on the typos, Dick Chanel might be something big. I’ll have to workshop it, but I could have just struck gold. Let me know how it sounds Chaneyheads

Dear God, our Heavenly Father. Sorry for not reaching out more, and thank you for the recent good news with Dick Chanel. I hate to invoke you via the Holy Spirit, but could you please do me a huge favor and balkanise the UK in the near future? Thank you father, Amen

Can we revive the Tongmenghui for one last job, the Trump dynasty must be extinguished

*republic 🇽🇰

Either Albania or Northern Macedonia.

Actually scrap that. Republican of Kosovo, final answer

Phone memories / featured photos showing Ollie, my wonky and gunky cat, who passed on earlier this year surrounded by family

Still miss you, Ollie. Fly high my gunky guy

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

I forget that when it comes to the occasion cards game you are the best to ever do it

Mass unethical and undisclosed experiments on a government’s own civilian population to unlock the latent moonwalk potential in certain people. Call that MJUltra

Mario be playin’ by T-dubs may be the Beethoven symphony number 9 (Ode to Joy) of our time

Vivzieslop or Mussolini show is a hypothetical akin to Undertale Son or Femcel Daughter, I regret the circumstances of life that led you to this choice oomf

*I’m, minor spelling mistake. A curse upon my household

Might be an in way too tired type of deal, but why does my Garfield have such crazy aura right now

Pigeon Pit into Mountain Goats release the same day, God is Good

Childhood is when you idolise Sportacus. Adulthood is when you realise Robbie Rotten makes more sense.

Dowager Emperors always saying all is well under the auspicious cloud but then ask this to the court eunuchs

Just got post-post clarity and have decided Silwa is the Ma Zhanshan of our time, feigning defection to the Republicans whilst organising a guerrilla force from the inside

For those wondering where Silwa stands, he is NYC’s Wang Jingwei. The short-lived Brooklyn regime propped up by the Foreign Devils in New Jersey and the Cuomo-collaborator classes shall receive punishment in time

The Cuomotang has been exiled to Long Island, may the traitors to the Five Boroughs in Harmony be crushed under the weight of their own corrupt bureaucrats, landlords and bourgeois intelligentsia. Long live Chairman Maodani Zohran and the NYCCP, death to traitors

Maybe. But I’m not looking to handle you. I’m looking to treat you right. I might not fix all your problems. But you and me? Let’s get out there and face a few new ones together