Not That Rebecca

As a kid I drank my milk through a crazy straw and now I have every disorder in the DSM-5.

Thanks a lot, mom and dad.

"Meet people where they are" ? As in... a nightmare from which we cannot wake?

Box City, a store that sells boxes

"HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT." - cats

Thinking about installing an above ground basement.

Consequences never seem to reach the people who need them the most.

Conspiracy theorists all seem so unbelievably dumb that I suspect they've been planted by a shadowy and nefarious underground organization to distract us from what's really going on.

I put a plant outside during a thunderstorm so it can realize how good it has it indoors.

Nice day you got there. Be a shame if someone jobbed all over it.

cat ran headfirst into my foot and then looked at me like I'm the dick

I can't say enough about being succinct.

Not to brag, but someone just told me I was better than nothing.

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm

a doodle of a cat head with the words "i see" above it

a sitting cat next to a small flower, with the text "a little bit of you”

a cat face in the center of flower petals, with the text "in every lovely thing"

two cat heads snuggling with a heart above them

It's pretty shocking when the guy whose entire life is a lie, lies to you. No one could see that coming.

maybe she’s born with it, maybe she’s wolverine

this meeting could've been a raven croaking ominously from atop a broken spire

115,000 yr old footprints found where they shouldn’t be omg🙏🏼

was it in the sand, it was in the sand wasn’t it

yes i overthink, yes i’m dramatic, and yes it’s a personality trait now

[interview to be an undercover agent]

chief: janine, can you send in the next applicant

janine: yes chief- next!

[the large potted plant in the corner of the room stands up]

chief: janine, can you send home the remaining applicants

Cthulhu: (angry unnatural noises)

Beatles: sorry, we didn’t know, but honestly, it looks like an octopus’s garden.

Pikachu is the ultimate pick-me

@blackhomeeducators.bsky.social

every institution in american life has utterly failed us
the courts
the congress
the universities
law enforcement
the military
the free press

every single one

At Olive Garden, you’re family.

Oh, so everybody here fuckin hates me?