&y

The Birds (1963) but it’s all trans-women named Raven and it’s my birthday

*Fort Knox vault door opens. All the gold is missing. On the floor is a single card marked with a fleur-de-lis*

Trump: (gasps) Le Chevalier!

the legendary double feature of pink flamingos and surfs up

we have the 8th amendment can’t stop me from what im about to do to austin butler

yes, i’ll have a “gamer margarita” i don’t know what’s in it but it’s taste like neon and has crushed doritos on the rim

those kids that wore basketball shorts in winter would be amazing spartans

i ate a jolly rancher and now im going haywire

absolutely kerputz

the cyber-controller

i just want you to think of me anytime the Might Mighty Bosstones play

new tattoo

he wouldn’t be as well known if he was Thom Brady

jennifer coolidge should be allowed to smash michael fasbender in the crotch with a crowbar

believe it or not, the part where i got way too drunk at trivia night is in the book of Revalations

did GY!BE not make the best apocalypse music or what

they should sell nadu breakfast at IHOP

was watch buffy yesterday and then BOOM joyce dies, was watching succession today and then BOOM logan dies

my first christmas without my dad and my tv shows have turned against me

im gonna go all ghost-of-christmas-yet-to-be on mr. beast

it’s been 2016 for 8 years

steely dan are sirens and im gonna crash into rocks for them

you’re monkeys in a daze and your crops are almost withering, and here i am vibing in a way that would make a greek god hoot and holler

my beers should remain nutmeg and cinnamon free, but here we are in the happy fucking holidays

having cowboy sex must hurt, with the spurs just digging into my shoulders

im more listerine than man

the shark bondage makes the car go faster

new squad

there are drones watching my every movement but all they’re seeing is me and cisco getting drunk and going “so true”

i want them to play magic with me

i was born in the wrong generation, i was supposed to kill myself with Heavens Gate

trip hop is the new ska

it’s nice seeing that people you hate have an even worse taste in music