Tony Pizza

whenever i was playing a videogame as a kid my dad would come in and say 'are you levelling up your wizard?' but I'd be playing Need for Speed Underground or something. now i am sitting here literally levelling up my wizard realising he is dunking on me from 20 years in the past

If you're worked up over the password to the Louvre's surveillance system being "louvre" then I have devastating news for you about the state of cybersecurity in building/property management as a whole.

A man in a suit sits in a south Korean parliamentary meeting with the cow tools far side cartoon pulled up on his laptop and draws the cow on a paper in front of him. Headline reads "Very Cool Lawmaker Apologizes After Being Caught Drawing Cow Tools During State Audit"

he did nothing wrong

i've decided to just start outright lying whenever i want to talk about work, but a different lie every time. things at the auto body shop are going great. i love my job selling vacuums door to door. being a shepherd in the himalayas really suits me

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

My congratulations to all Baseball Perverts. It was their "super bowl" last night and it seems they all had a very bad time (in their culture that's how you have a good time)

Joseph Scrimshaw tweet from 2022: "Daylight Saving Time is increasingly hard to notice when my digital devices are like, 'What? Nothing happened. We know what time it is.' And my stove is left blinking and screaming, 'IT HAPPENED! TIME SHIFTED UNNATURALLY! THEY'RE ALL LYING! ONLY I KNOW! ONLY I REMEMBER!' "

Ah, it's that time again...

One more Cherub for the road. Still trying out experiments with how I color. Again, the results are not where I want, but I still enjoyed making it.

Back to working on getting the new Clover model in engine.

#CherubArt

I used to use one of your works that was like an angel statue in a forest clearing for a wallpaper. Do you still have that one?

chicken burger with cheese and bacon and hash browns and lettuce. it is perhaps slightly too tall to be eaten like a burger.

the burger has been squished, such that you can actually eat it

explaining lossless compression to an american

JERMA IS SO FUNNY

Panel from the Junji Ito manga "The Enigma of Amigara Fault" edited to look like a baseball is speaking the lines "Th-this is my hole! It was made for me!"

Babysitting a couple of teeny children today! Gonna hide them under my shirt when their foster comes to pick them up imo

I have seen enough images of "The Absolute Batman" to know it is the Batman most optimized for porn.

Attorney in MD was caught using a hallucinated case in appellate case, I feel like they might disbar him to make an example

From my brother in law school

fucking THIS, HOLY GODDAMN SHIT

there is no timeline in which i proudly declare the person i trust most in the fucking world has (HAS!) a goddamn NAZI TATTOO??? (tbf there's no timeline in which the person i trust most is that person!)

PLATNER ISN'T EVEN THAT INTERESTING. why are we doing this?

reminds me of the time CNN booked the wrong Jon Hendren for an interview and @fart went live on air and talked about Edward Scissorhands

one of my favorite things is when the subject of a piece threatens a journalist and the journalist responds by casually printing everything very matter of factly

This Nazi tattoo saga is making people say shit the CIA couldn't torture out of me

I painted ur dog

Now's your time to strike, Mark Carney. You'll be greeted as liberators

Designer: all right Mr. Del Toro here’s those Frankenstein’s monster designs, real sexy just like you asked for.
Del Toro: (nodding) this is exactly as sexy as I asked for.

A wheelbarrow full of assorted packs of Marlboro, Camel, and Lucky Strike cigarettes.

Guaranteeing the kids in my neighborhood have a legendary Halloween this year.

there is a "diy aesthetics" subreddit where people do their own botox, on their own faces in their home with no medical knowledge or training and I think I might have to go lie down after reading this for 10 minutes

They made Twitter vastly more racist and frustrating to force me to get off my ass and go do comedy in real life. But I have unrelenting inner strength beyond what these bigots could ever imagine. I will NEVER pursue my dreams.

I’m back…back to those streets that raised me…

Was reading security guards talking about how it’s bullshit that they can’t mount a flashlight on their gun and this made laugh

i think its good that bluesky is boring and you dont want to scroll through it too much because you're not supposed to waste your day away scrolling on social media when you could be using the computer to play & draw & learn before the corporations destroy the rest of the internet. tick tock