frielf

inventing a new subgenre of country music in which all the songs are about living in tunnels

and lived to tell the tale

bass hat

will this do?

Mfs will go in the ball pit of ideology and start playing with the used bandaids

bsky.app/profile/worb...

pretty sure there’s a spider in there

i pass out every time i see my belly button

Mark Proksch is Alfred Hitchcock.

McRib is bat

the new caviar

beach therapist with his desk set up in the water

this reminded me of a therapist i saw on one of those therapist-finder websites

they did fillers on a grape

toggled

clickbait article showing a crying person laying on a pillow. “Alzheimer's Begins When You Can't Say This Word”

was the person insisting that cat food kibbles are actually small dried burger patties?

✴.·´¯`·.·★  🎀𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓲 𝓪𝓶 𝓱𝓪𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮🎀  ★·.·`¯´·.✴

😍💞💘 𝓱𝓪𝓾𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓪 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮…𝓲𝓽’𝓼 𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 💔💏💖

i use slipping pills on then

developing new medication that makes someone intensely slippery. useful for evasion, trickery, poetry, isolation, and getting out of jury duty

he’s trying to make it develop bones. flatten it and kiss it posthaste

it's the men, general. their faith erodes as if abraded by a thousand poison tides, each bearing a more seditious whisper than the last; it's.. it's the apple, sir. you've been in your tent for days, boiling that same apple over and over. we hear you singing to it, calling it your 'Steaming Samuel',

pressing the “be good” button

I think we all just want to feel cute and to be told we are cute

got confused and hired a barista to represent me in british court 😭

☝️large enough for an entire adult to pass through

i think the bus won

certainly, i feel nothing

tapping Lethal on the emotions wheel

(visibly relieved) i was worried it was me

some guy just got on the bus and shouted “who here has the biggest butthole”