I didn't think there was anyone else like me. I saw the trailer for Mortal Engines playing on the TV in a Universal Studios gift shop. I went to see it opening weekend. There were three people in the theatre. Me, my friend who I dragged there, and a single middle-aged man. Was... was... that you?

Sorry but personally if a miniature horse woke me up from anesthesia by banging out nonsense on a miniature keyboard it would send me into a liminal space between life and death from which I would never return

Yooooooo

And you know what the talking heads seem to rarely use 'violent' to describe? The systemic destruction of families through ICE detentions and deportations. Breaking a window is framed *primarily* as violence, but taking a grandparent away from their kids or sending someone to a work camp isn't.

"Distressed clubbing" is exactly what I'd call Niamos. It's such a freaking bop but has this cool almost rising/falling tone like quality to its repetitive bits that puts you *just* on edge enough for the whole thing to sound vaguely like a cry for help. Easily favorite song of the year lol.

I’m a single issue voter and my issue is STOP FUCKING FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND FOCUS.

Guys like you, guys on the mean streets of the dinosaur mafia, end up one of two ways: they end up a legend, or they end up extinct.

wouldn't change course now. Deep down, you know you couldn't live any other life. Deep down, you know you need the thrill of dinosaur-themed crime to give your days purpose. Or maybe that's just what you tell yourself. Maybe the truth is that you're just too deep in the tar pit to get out now.

just a bit too far and leave yourself vulnerable to the wrong type of guy, and end up dead in a ditch with 3 triceratops horns in your back. You know this, of course, or some version of it at least, somewhere in the back of your head, but even if you knew exactly how it would all go down, you

most people in the organization don't even know who's really in charge. Dinosaur races with high-stakes betting. Dinosaur egg-smuggling operations. Velociraptor enforcers with Tommy guns taped to their arms. You have a hand in all of it. One day it will all come crashing down. One day you'll push

Don't go around just GIVING people your ONLY attack dinosaur. Make them rent that shit. Threaten people with the attack dinosaur and charge a protection fee. Now you're a dinosaur mob boss. The boys call you "Big Rexy" You build a vast web of dinosaur-themed crime rings, so layered and complex that

A GOOD evil capitalist wouldn't sell the dinosaurs at all, they'd rent them out to people but still retain ownership in case someone else came along who was willing to pay more. Even their absurd dinosaur-assasin-attack dog thing works better in a model like this.

And that's the other thing, he's FUCKED after this, even if his plan works. Because once he's sold all the dinosaurs, he can no longer extract any value from them. That is all the return on his investment he will ever see. He's not even a good evil capitalist!!!

There are billionaires who can make more than 28 million dollars in a few hours just by not tweeting out something openly racist and letting their stocks go up. Why is this guy so willing to doom his entire venture for the value of like, a really nice apartment in a big city?

Like there's this part where the evil billionaire is like "that dinosaur is worth 28 MILLION dollars!!!!"

And like, yeah, for a normal person, that's a lot, but this guy is wealthy enough to hire this whole private army and charter a fleet out to dinosaur island. 28 million is like nothing to him.

Like there's this whole sequence where they're auctioning off the dinosaurs, these one-of-a-kind creatures that nobody else has or can ever access now that their island is exploded, and they're doing so for like, weirdly low amounts?

Now I WILL say, the second movie (5th depending how you count) does genuinely seem to be written by members of the group of people who have never seen any corporation ever.

Also, when I saw this movie in 2016, I remember laughing at the sheer insanity of Vincent Denoffrio's villain character (Mr. "We gotta send these velociraptors to Iraq!") and now I feel like there's 3 different versions of that exact guy running around various levels of the American government.

The idea that shareholders, despite already sitting on top of an extremely lucrative, literally miraculous establishment, would STILL continuously push harder and harder for a way to increase their profits EVEN FURTHER at all costs is frankly the LEAST unrealistic thing in that movie.

We live under a system so obsessed with endless, exponential growth and shareholder value that even companies like Coca-Cola, a century-old corporate imperium with a higher net worth than most countries, STILL feel the need to introduce new shitty flavors all the time JUST to make that line go up.

Not me going to bat for a decade-old dinosaur movie, but I genuinely never understood the so-called "plothole" of "why did Jurassic World NEED to make a NEW dinosaur? Weren't they already profitable enough with a global monopoly on literal dinosaurs?"

Like, have you seen ANY corporation EVER?

This is *good news*

Fuuuck this explanation makes WAY too much sense.

They don't even love those. They hate those people, too, because those people are poor. It's just a different kind of hatred. Not the "burn them all" hatred they have for minority groups, but a sort of silent, condescending hatred towards those they think they're better than but need the support of.

My favorite part of EVERY Legendary Godzilla movie is when the human characters keep saying shit like "Godzilla is the protector of Earth, friend to ALL humans" and then in the last 10 minutes of the movie he'll destroy the entire country of Brazil for no good reason

Steven Spielberg has never watched a Summoning Salt video in his LIFE and it fucking shows.