DAEMENOTH DIABLOS

My naked weapon is a gun!

Phun fakt: Spelleeng wurds rong awn tha inturnet trigurs peepull.

Look out Shakespeare!! 😂

Replacing my usage of the term "circle jerk" with "particibation"

Been trying to reserve my sanity, what little is left anyways.

Politician" I am sorry you misunderstood when I said "You'll have no more money problems." I meant the problems you'll have is that you'll have no more money.

There should be a shade of brown called shartreuse.

Dinder, an app where you see pics of people's dinners. If you swipe right, they invite you over and feed you that dinner.

Just remember you don't want to keep those spirits too far up

Life Hack: If you want to keep you spirits up try drinking some more spirits so yours have some to float on.

I joke about death a lot because joking about life is depressing

Comedy is tragedy plus time. So is decomposition.

Yeah that is a bit far for me. I just refuse to like their reply when they do it 😂

Bring me back a shrubbery or I shall say NI! at you.

Only reason I’m depressed is because you all aren’t skeeting better.

the past tense of sneeze is snoze

Sometimes I just lie here and let the doom just scroll right over me.

Toaster oven because I only made a few. I hardly ever use the full oven unless I am baking bread or cake.

I added some minced garlic, oregano and parmesan to the biscuit dough too and put cheddar and a mix of defrosted bell peppers, relish, mustard inside with the hot dogs.

I made myself pigs in a blanket for supper, like a real adult.

This is our Canada, our flag is a symbol of unity and peace. #OCanada #FlagDay #Canada #CanadaIsUnited #MapleLeaf

🍁Vive 🍁 le 🍁 Canada 🍁🇨🇦🍁

A group of failed skeets is called
my timeline.

Apologizing to my partner because I accidentally fucked their outie

YOU: I’ve seen Megadeth twice

ME: (a one upper) I’ve seen Gigadeth three times

Thanks bud! I have been here lurking around and occasionally shitposting lol

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If you fellate me
I'd be blew too

I don't do opera.

The only high notes I hit are the coughs after a bong rip.

😂😂😂

Thank fuck for the ass is all I'm saying 🫣