Kiss My Fat Ash 🍑

👀

My youngest has been wanting to roast marshmallows lately, but it’s 95° and crazy humid so now he and I are roasting marshmallows in air conditioning with a tea light beside the kitchen sink.

my kid when he finds a $.16 on the ground: LOOSTERS KEEPERS

And I think it has Crossy Road+ which is a lot like Frogger.

It just depends what you like, but it has many categories

Another I like on there is called Mini Motorways.

I play on my iPad. Never tried iPhone.

Sneaky Sasquatch? It’s on Apple Arcade, if you have it.

A densely packed nugget shaped lump of Dorito powder I pulled out of my bag of Doritos

If you eat Doritos after midnight, they morph into nuggets

That scene in Talladega Nights where Ricky Bobby is on camera and doesn’t know what to do with his hands, except that’s my entire personality when someone compliments me

My cute new doctor asked if I think my recent general anxiety is due to the country devolving into authoritarian rule and I think I'm in love??!

I’m so behind on current pop culture.

“Here’s Coco Melon Cupcake Dinglehopper wearing Sliminnie Flingbop Cerberus couture on the red carpet.”

Thank you

😂

I had a bunch almost escape on me the other day when I was trying to get a couple of corpses out lol

A black velvet or velour dress from the 1870s

me: I think this one’s my favorite out of this collection.

my kid: Mom, you would look just like Monday Addams in that!

A middle aged lady selfie

🎵 blue jean baby
super serious faced ANT FARM LADY

if reincarnation is a thing, i wanna come back as a skunk so people run when they see me

More tunnels. 7-year-old is overjoyed.

Gimme all your cauliflower. This is a stickup.

Context is unnecessary.

This is Kiss My Fat Ash here who is about to be awarded my post of the day award………….be quiet shhhhhh
We’re going in.
SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!
It’s
POST OF THE DAY AWARD 🥇

Come on peeps
Time to show some appreciation

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Awww yay

cauliflower doesn’t deserve you heathens.

Nutrient gel Ant farm shit

not me over here fighting off escaping harvester ants while i try to scoop out crunched up little corpses with a tiny spoon and a headlamp

🎵 that’s me in the corner
that’s me drinkin’ hot sprite
trying to catch a pigeon

you can’t hurt me, you’re not a spicy ramen noodle i sucked up my nose

underwire out here just fightin’ for its life

All of the above. Anything found in the woods. 😂 Animals and/or cryptids alike.

Out in Appalachian woods, just assume that if you can hear them, they can smell you.

Red dragon toy that has horns.

My 7-year-old affectionately calls this guy BIG RED HORNY DRAGON and I don’t even correct him. These days won’t last forever.