The One Who Cums

I mean... just because it's stupid, vapid, fickle, shortsighted, ugly, and killing us doesn't mean it isn't an almost perfect encapsulation of humanities id.

Lol, hey now I play video games to escape from my life

The first person to ever misgender me got an award (@cockremover.bsky.social)

I'm happy it wasn't stopped tho

Missionary so I can pop the pimples on your forehead

I was a maintenance worker on one of those machines. The Circumscizzors 490 was a beautiful piece if machinery, circumsizes 300 dicks an hour. It was a hard job, people don't tell you how physically demanding emptying the foreskin really bin is.

The goodnews though is the all you can eat foreskins

I gotta say, my inner bully has made this impossible. There was a transphobe at my old job named Bill and I got them to call him Big Tiddy Bill, Billaboobs, etc.
Started because he was giving my mtf coworker shit, "you can't be a man with tits" he said.

No, because I am a 5 year old boy from ohio named Hunter

Same, but also, I just wait for them to approach me (it'll happen one day)

Me [nervously filling a bucket with soapy water]: We're not doing the shit thing anymore?

I put all my skeets in a conspiracy board, with strings going from each to a stickynote that says "CALL A THERAPIST"

I mean, both read, right?

Awww, I love you too

I slept for nearly 20 hours after reading this post

This explains why you're so nice to me

Mission Accomplished*

I wish I could help, but Stalin has a restraining order against me. I can't get within a hundred posts of him

I have not slept in 30 hours, I am sure it's unrelated to this post tho

In this house, we kneel for the sink piss and stand for the porch piss

I have two wolves inside of me, and they have both been euthanized

Until the room starts to stink

Porch pissing inspires me

Alt Text: a flash illuminates the moment piss meets the open air, just the tip of a mighty penis can be seen glancing over the barrier of our photo, as if it's saying "are ya winnin son?"

Every time someone pushes a glass off a table, a catboy gets his cat tail butt plug

Can you tell Toki I burned myself with cigarettes so he would forgive me for forgetting his birthday?

They have, that's why he looks like a discount sack of potatoes

A modern tribute to Vlad the Impaler, a dozen doll heads adorn a broom, their hair making a poor substitute for a broom.

This the type of shit Sid was making in Toy Story

Wiped my ass so much it started to sound like cheap windshield wipers

Gaslighting the person I just shot "There's no good reason to think I'm mad at you"

Only in a "this would bring me sexual gratification, I don't hate you bestie" sort of way