Comrade Cat

Hot Honey Titties

*extremely long health and safety warning scrolls by super fast*

*I skate up on my Fredo-board and slide into FredoBurger* “hey guys, check out my new FredoTech Watch, it was over 20 minutes of battery and is extremely accurate (+/-1 hour a day)”

*everybody claps as I order a triple FredoBurger with extra poison*

james cameraman approaches saint peter with a whiteboard.
the word gremlins is written on it.

st. peter: not a chance cameron

james cameraman: (un-caps dry erase pen)
(hunches over white board, working furiously, and steps back to reveal his work)

"gremlin$"

st.peter: (speechless)

I’m gonna miss art like this when it’s gone

wtf happened to John Toilet? His account is deleted?

Jackets with matching font too hard for these guys? Did they hit up every shady Etsy shop possible to make these cause no one would do it?

Incredibly excited, as with many of my fellow Mister Gay fans I was worried that the trilogy had died on the vine when the cinematographer of the first film Leonard D’Cappachino OD on Angel Dust while skydiving.

Matt berry hit me really hard to :(

The people who came down on your yesterday were LGBTQ folks, visible minorities and their allies. The people the Democratic Party betrayed. And the same people the “GamerGate Trolls” abused for a decade now.

Hey Wil, dismissing all criticism of your earlier posts by equating the very people Gamergate targeted with those doing the targeting is embarrassing. And you could be doing good right now instead of doubling down on a false pretence.

This must go so hard if you’re stupid.

People are always asking me how to get free chik fil a and it’s very simple. First you need to show up at the rear door of the building, preferably during a busy time like lunch. Wear your white hard hat, reflective vest and carry a clipboard. As soon as someone opens the door door declare

Look you don’t have to respect it, but it’s not a “dogshit opinion” to believe that Godzilla is kinda sexy in like a unique way okay?

I dream of a day when centrist means communist, caught between the socialists on one side and the anarchists on the other.

Hi Claire, I’ve never seen you before but I love impromptu events and holidays so have a normal one.

Casually shrug and say “Popeyes never has to go upstairs”. Run away very fast.

Scribble on your clipboard shaking your head. Say “I’m gonna have to take this chicken upstairs to the big boys” and jam it all into your backpack. Hand them a pre-filled fake “health report” with like 15 things on it like “slug colony in bathroom” on the way or hesitate for just a moment, turn back

“This is a surprise chicken inspection” (hope they haven’t had one recently or they may be suspicious) insist they let you in and prepare you two meals. Sit up close to both prepared sandwich’s clicking your tongue and saying “hmm” a lot. Stick a meat thermometer in everything they give you and then

People are always asking me how to get free chik fil a and it’s very simple. First you need to show up at the rear door of the building, preferably during a busy time like lunch. Wear your white hard hat, reflective vest and carry a clipboard. As soon as someone opens the door door declare

Yeah that’s the speed being kept inside, why do you think engines get so hot? 🙄 I don’t want no cold plastic slow engine

…touché maybe that was worth $30,000 and that small hat.

You said my investment had grown 3x!

Can’t believe I have to shovel for the third time in two days ugh!

Sorry to hear Sam :( our rabbits have gotten into stasis quite a bit over the years and it can be quite stressful. Hoping he has a speedy recovery!

More Than 100 Gazans Have Been Accepted to Canadian Universities. Canada Isn’t Letting Them In. See a map of the graduate programs they're planning to attend, if the government finally processes their visas

More than 100 Gazans have been accepted to Canadian universities.

Canada isn’t letting them in.

pressprogress.ca/gazans-accep...

human breast milk is the only ethical animal milk because it can be given consensually. furthermore, forbidding me from posting pics of milk squirting out of my tits is speciest when your platform allows these images for cows. in this essay i will,,,

The books are incredible but I haven’t seen it yet, very excited it looks awesome.

He just unironically did the trolly problem???