Mark Schwartz

Nobody on tv is ever casually Jewish.

Apparently he DOES have the time….

Post a link and I can get it for you.

It was called “Soul Man”.

Of course.

People love to frame pirating media as a form of boycott. Boycotting is supposed to involve some level of sacrifice on your part. It’s a funny version of a boycott in which you get whatever you want for free.

Not the point at all, but….

What does “watch conspiracy stuff” mean? What conspiracies are we talking about here?

I have a sweet tooth as much as anybody, but the idea of eating a full-size snickers bar seems like way too much now.

I could, however, eat fourteen fun-size snickers in one sitting.

I agree, but am frustrated with the shrinking of “fun size”.

A fun size KitKat should be 2 regular sized sticks. Not those half-stick things.

Halloween voter 2025 sticker with a pigeon wearing a witches hat and holding a pumpkin lantern with bats and a witch in the background

New Yorkers vote today if you haven’t and you get this

We Are Lady Parts is just a blast and every single person on planet Earth should watch it, the end.

No acknowledgement of the fact that like LAST WEEK Sarah didn’t know who Andrea Martin even was.

This is what Yom Kippur is really about.

I know that “pencil lead” is a descriptor for red wine, and I feel like I’ve had red wine that tasted like pencil lead.

It’s mostly a 3-month starving himself transformation.

I’m pretty sure the brick shaped ones existed simultaneously with square. Individually wrapped were bricks, but supermarket checkout packs were the squares.

Brussels, Sausalito, chessmen.

But that’s only because your “bagged” requirement precludes Pirouettes.

I have bad news for you about nearly 10 year-olds.

Down with the “don’t be that guy” rule. It’s just a bunch of 90s bullshit about how sincerity and enthusiasm are uncool.

As a corporate tax professional, I 10000% agree.

eleventy billion reasonable things to hate the ADL for, such that if you get one-shotted into Leo Frank trutherism because some strangers on the internet said so, you’re a fucking idiot

It happens in NYC too, and while I find the noise INCREDIBLY annoying, they’re certainly not a threat to anything.

I absolutely support strategies for managing horror if you need them. I, for instance, wear a baseball cap I can pull down to block two-thirds of the screen if it's too scary. (This is not a joke; I absolutely do this.)

I prefer to see horror movies in empty theaters, so when it gets scary I can pace nervously in the back of the room.

Your alt-text is art.

I like that you apparently say “please” to ChatGPT.

Contested, perhaps, but not a prank!

Dana Schwartz - on hiatus on X: "I feel like people don't talk enough about how James Bond is controlled by the Broccoli family, of broccoli fame. they're not named after broccoli, broccoli is named after them!!!!!!!! https://t.co/Ww9SuYRiCA" / X I feel like people don't talk enough about how James Bond is controlled by the Broccoli family, of broccoli fame. they're not named after broccoli, broccoli is named after them!!!!!!!! https://t.co/Ww9SuYRiCA

x.com/danaschwartz...

Ok, I was told this but am now realizing that I may have fallen victim to a prank…

Did you know that broccoli, the vegetable, is named after her great grandparents?

It’s true.

I do think maybe the bride is making too big of a deal of this 30 years later, and this is very much the photographer’s fault as well, but looking at that picture I 100% thought that the SIL was the bride.