✿ ☻

How are we going to explain to future generations that rich people got so mad at being made fun of on social media that they decided to bring in fascism for everyone.

trying this new thing where I don’t panic when the pain hits and almost had a panic attack lol

very unfunny pain flare rn on the one day I had plans

in the (secondhand) market for a new leather jacket and this has convinced me to go for this kind of moto racer silhouette

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

this image from the simpsons but imagine all the photos are blonde sooz in december 2019

Pour a sugar on me!

how is that third pic not you

AVERAGE BLUESKY USER: I just got kicked in the head by a horse. I think I’ll go check the Discover Feed and reply to strangers’ posts there

no

The Instagram account Saint featured me. The first slide says: "Derek Guy - Dieworkwear. Derek Guy is a menswear writer who has written for The New York Times, Esquire, and Mr. Porter. He also runs a menswear blog called Die, Workwear"

One of the slides showing my favorite products. It's it's a big bag of Hagen pigeon food. The food is fortified with the vitamins and nutrients pigeons need.

Instagram user writes: "Why tf do i need pigeon food for my outfit." I replied: "this is what i can afford to eat after spending all my money on clothes ::sad face::"

thinking about the time a cool Instagram fashion account asked me to name my favorite products and i didn't know i was supposed to name fashion products, so i said pigeon food because i like feeding pigeons and their followers were like "why the fuck do i need pigeon food for my outfit?"

Next time somebody asks me what Bluesky is like, I'll send them this

I married an eastenders character

Ground pounding through a tall tower of crates would fix me

Billy Jamswissroll

used to look at lava lamps and think that’s a cool kind of lightbulb because you never really think about the bulb shining underneath all that

what if you had to get your lightbulbs insured

@mattsaidwhat.bsky.social is this one you

🌺🏵️🌸💮🌻

Welcome to the capitalist innovation museum we got

- scam machine
- psychosis inducing machine
- weapons of mass destruction
- button you push that makes the planet hotter
- markets that intentionally starve people
- clothes that fall apart after washing them 1 time
- medicine you can’t afford

naughty elephants squirting water

Post a fictional comedian who definitely would accept an invitation to the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

my grandad would forget he’d already asked me something on the phone, but then I got used to hearing his happy reaction to good news twice.

Gemini: Have you tried turning your life off and on again?

A Cathay Pacific plane.

"Heathrow, it's me, I'm Cathay"

the singer jay kay being weird in his big mental moving house

we don't talk enough about how this paranoid freak released virtual insanity in 1996. years before the average person in the uk had even sent a text message, he was dancing like a maniac in his big moving gaff, enraged to the point of song by faxes, teletext and encarta 95.

rfk junior's stupid fucking face next to some big text that says "AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT"

oh boy this is gonna get a lot of use in the group chats

skip the boring dinners - give me leaky roof old trafford vibes instead ✨🥰🌧️

Important: there is a pub in Holborn where a cat wears a ruff. His name is The General