Guide for Monsters

I want to be a stomach, but deep down I know I'm a kidney

On this day, ya'll better be thankful that I've sealed away the Dark Lord Moloch.

My goblin prowess a grants me the ability to find Soviet vuccum tube technology

Excellent, the Squonk shall him pick up. Don't mind it's smell or the incessant sobbing.

What? Oh, yes, I forgot. You humans have a concept called "currency" and "fair compensation"... I... uh... um... hmmm...

*reaches in robe sleave*

I have a jar of tadpoles, three eyes of newt (I misplaced the fourth one), a Wuther Original caramel, and half a bottle of Gold Bond Foot Powder.

I planted one of these sanguine slugs in my garden once... they do not winter very well.

You "liked" my proposition and yet gave no answer? I expect it soon or I shall deploy the changelings!

You are too tall to fit in the halls of The Goblin Kingdom and your brain is moldy from the follies of human society. Perhaps the elves may want you.

Is your spawn available to be an apprentice? He has great potential and will be successful in the Golin Realm.

It is a disgraced house that have tampered with dark secrets that should not have been disturbed. Their arrogance is why blue skinned goblin kingdom has been banished to the Nightmare Dimension.

But a lovely crest none the less.

Apocalyptic Fantasy is apt perhaps?

Mead is a most inspiring potion

Potion complete... it was okay.

new litter of homonculi hatched 🥹

My potion bubbles.

You spread goblin propaganda well. For a pink skin that is.

Monster museum

Truly a representation of the diversity of my people

"pyromancy" originally referred to predicting the future by looking at open flames. it was remarkably reliable, as long as the prediction was in the lines of "i predict your house will burn to the ground soon"

We? No, you!

Yes, we could kidnap so many giraffes with this contraption...

When my mother took us to the surface world; she would put on a mix tape for the long trip. Like a Bird was one of them, the rest was Dianna Krall and songs from the Shrek 2 soundtrack.

The new neighbour has prohibited me from observing my rotten log collection.

And so we all go into the infinite dream...

If the wrestlers were puppies and kittens would the be zoomos?

A Japanese American Football coach. His Shadow Scout was his star quarterback. But the Shadow Scout was forced into early retirement after a knee injury and resorted to dual monster work.

I don't remember the exact explanation of these, but essentially yes. They're a more literal version based on loose (cult related) neospiritual beliefs. These cards source is dubious at the very least

Such an exploratory nature to venture so deep, thank you kindly. Your bravery is commendable, but I bade you, go no further; lest you know the darkness you've found...

Goblin OC from dimension F0027, a quick question, if I may. Is that a depiction of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh on the Master Card?

The interactions that humans have with their familiars never ceases to fascinate.