Elisabeth Parker Henry

Dr David Brunner and his fellow human, Sam Stall, did a bang-up job of making us seem like furry VCRs, while simultaneously writing a pretty decent book. This one's a keeper. There's a book in this series for dogs and one for human babies, too, but who'd want those? Ew.

"The Cat Owner's Manual". It's all in the name. Does anyone really own a cat, though?

An OWNER'S manual? Seriously!? Well, actually, The Cat Owner's Manual is a technical manual on how to keep your model healthy and clean, how to help her interface with other animals, and why she throws hairballs with such regularity.

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Otherwise, read it in a bookshop. It's not worth taking up space on your shelves. Unless you wish you could read the same 35 Instagram posts over and over.

P.S. How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All of 'em. One to turn it, and the rest to run around in circles, barking at it.

But as much as I enjoyed it, it's just too short. Needs more substance. More pictures. More clever witticisms. More dog jokes. If you can find this book at a car boot or yard sale for under two dollars, then go for it... And then pass it along to another cat.

This tiny gift book-sized volume contains pictures of cats in various positions and situations, along with some snappy dialogue to go with the photos. It's like having a tiny piece of Instagram in your hands.

A picture book, "If Cats Could Talk". Next to an actual cat, who cannot talk.

I'm pretty sure that if cats could talk, we wouldn't. Or else we'd lie to you.

Cos that's how we roll. But in If Cats Could Talk, it's assumed that we are witty, talkative, and brilliant. Which we are, of course.

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Or maybe because we want JUST A TASTE of that delicious bird outside. There could be fifty reasons why we do THAT, just like there are fifty questions in this book. It's a cute book. Don't take it too much to heart, though. We're probably just bored.

Or maybe because we have a million more muscles than you. Or maybe because you're not paying enough attention to us. Or maybe because we confuse you with our mamas. Or maybe because we like the way you sound when you're on the phone.

A black kitty sleeping in front of the book "Why Cats Do That".

Why DO cats do that? You know... That. Yes, THAT. Probably because we're so awesome. Or maybe because we love you. Or maybe because we are protecting our territory. Or maybe because you're too stupid to know how to hunt.

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As always, Cat is adorable and cute and funny, all at once. They say this is a book for kittens, but I'm nineteen, and I loved it - and you will, too. Hooray for the Easter Cat!

Check out his kickass motorcycle and sidecar; I'd totally deliver eggs if I had THAT kind of transportation. Since he wants to be just as popular as the Bunny, Cat has decided to become the Easter Cat. Not such a good idea, Cat. But maybe you can be helpful in some other way...?

"Here Comes The Easter Cat", possibly the best Easter book ever.

So, I totally should've posted this last weekend, but we were dealing with a kitty issue (as one does). So you get your Easter #book #review a week late. =P

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The Easter Bunny certainly gets around... And Cat is going to help.

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A black kitty lying suspiciously close to some scraps of fur and a couple of chocolate eggs...

"Easter Bunny"? No, I haven't seen anything like that. These chocolate eggs? They were here when I arrived. - Beast

#catsOfBluesky #cat #void #cute #Easter #ByeByeBunny

What adventures Belshazzar has had. What tragedy, what ecstasy, what a happy and satisfying end! From living in an English cottage with a typical nuclear family, to the tragedies that took him away from that family, to his 'Lean Years', and then back to a life of comfort, Belshazzar stays strong.

Belshazzar is the name of a handsome and well-travelled tuxedo cat who has collaborated with a human to bring you this autobiography. A slim but full volume, this book can easily be stashed away between your litter box and the wall, for convenient toilet reading.

A black cat sitting next to the book "Belshazzar: A Cat's Story For Humans".

I haven't reviewed much fiction during the last year or so, and to be honest, I'm not 100% sure that this book IS fiction.

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The illustrations *are* damned pretty, though. Maybe I'll have the short human tear some of them out and frame them for me to hang over my litterbox.

The illustrations are still great, but at not much more than 200 words (WORDS, mind you, not pages - and that includes the dedication), it's really not worth owning. No matter how wise we sound in Haiku.

If this book were four times the size, I'd suggest picking it up on sale, because the illustrations are just that damned good. But it's not, so I can't.

If this book were a meal, it would be one of those fancy, Japanese dishes that has a single piece of fish, a tiny ball of rice, and three julienned cucumber sticks attractively arranged on a plate the size of your human's head. It looks beautiful, tastes delicious, but there's not a whole lot of it.

A black kitty next to the book "Zen Kitty: A Cat's Guide to Enlightenment". Cute book, but not worth the money.

"You know your cat is a superior being, with deep wisdom about life...."

So sayeth "Zen Kitty: A Cat's Guide To Enlightenment".

Yeah, whatever.

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Dr David Brunner and his fellow human, Sam Stall, did a bang-up job of making us seem like furry VCRs, while simultaneously writing a pretty decent book. This one's a keeper. There are books in this series for dogs and human babies, too, but who'd want those?

A black kitty next to the book "The Cat Owner's Manual". An excellent book, well-recommended.

An OWNER'S manual? Seriously!? Well, actually, The Cat Owner's Manual is a technical manual on how to keep your model healthy and clean, how to help her interface with other animals, and why she throws hairballs with such regularity.

#catsOfBluesky #cat #cute #book #review #ECCBookReview #Caturday

Regardless, the book -- How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You -- is a brilliant work by a brilliant individual who MIGHT be a cat masquerading as a human. Of course, he IS revealing many of our secrets, so we may have to track him down and vomit hairballs onto his shoes.

A black kitty reading "How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You", by The Oatmeal.

...uh-oh. I've been spotted! I had hoped to bring all you kitties a secret review of this fascinating book by The Oatmeal (aka Matthew Inman), but I foolishly read it while stealing the short human's warm spot on the bed. Bah!

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Miss Hollander draws great cartoons, and really understands cat problems, like being accused of spilling ink on the sofa (it was the dog). She even dedicated the book to her cats -- after some prompting from them. Highly recommended!

A black kitty sitting next to the book "Everything Here Is Mine".

Everything Here Is Mine. Yes, that pretty much sums up my life. And this book, by Nicole Hollander. BEST BOOK EVER. Especially the plans for setting up a feline solarium and bathroom.

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Lesson nineteen is called The Rotisserie, and involves a juicy chicken. As opposed to the boring kibble I'm eating here. Sigh.

A short but intense little tome on how to become a Purr-Point Practitioner, and make us cats happy; and really, isn't that what life's all about? Eighteen detailed lessons on how to massage a cat, and the level of purr one can reasonably expect to achieve from said massages.

A black kitty next to the book "Know Your Cat's Purr Points".

This week, in between being fabulous and being amazing, I read Know Your Cat's Purr Points, by Margaret Woodhouse. How could this NOT be a good book?

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