That's Are Dings™

That's your annual arsenic ration too

No he was fired but one of the agents who punched me in the gut said "this one's for Bovino!"

Grapes always had it coming

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents are over at my house. My paperwork was in order but they're concerned with the amount of "japanination" I have. We're watching Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day and when someone does something non-american I lose another civil right

Twizzlers Strawberry 500 Arsenic (Parts Per Billion) Safe Consumption Limit: Children 4 pieces (if 1 piece is 11 grams) Safe Consumption Limit: Adults 9 3/5 pieces (if 1 piece is 11 grams) . . . Hi it's me dings!

According to Casey DeSantis, if you eat more than 9 3/5 pieces of twizzlers, you are at your maximum arsenic annual consumption, whatever that means

Growing up, I always heard that the I Love Lucy episode where she's working at the candy factory was the "funniest episode of TV". She was terrible at her job and probably cost her employer a fortune. What's so funny about that?

Grok, write a best selling novel about posting on the computer and send it to my agent when you're done!!

Hmm I guess I missed the subtext

Thank you for your service

Growing up, I always heard that the I Love Lucy episode where she's working at the candy factory was the "funniest episode of TV". She was terrible at her job and probably cost her employer a fortune. What's so funny about that?

Mars Inc put a bullet in the brain of my beloved family pet because I failed to buy enough M&Ms or M&M merch. Never made that mistake again, shame Triscuits™ didn't listen

No and that's my official stance. I've done a lot of good for Paws Inc. and they need to back off

I think it'd have more appeal

Yoshi's hiding in an egg like me. Clearly they stole the idea from the originator... the one, the only, dings!!!

The new Yoshi toy peeking out of is shell

Sending Nintendo Co Ltd a cease and desist for stealing my gimmick

Me: Grok, how are you today?

Grok: (six rainforests later) Fine

Noooo

Happy Valentine's Day to Princess Peach and Princess Daisy

Ok cool quit bragging

I don't recall anyone I know ever owning an HD DVD player. The scratching sounds annoying though

Some say trying to decipher the meaning of the phrase is what drove the octopus doctor mad

I'm sorry that you had to live through this hardship

I feel pretty aloof about it right now, but I think I'm going to have some really big regrets on my death bed if I don't experience the at home magic of HD DVDs

Welcome back! I'm sorry I reported you, but it was for the good of the community

Taking notes in the dirt and using one of the bugs to write with

I saw some chickens on TV last night and I thought without hesitation "I wish I was a chicken"

Messed up and unfair

I know you would cherish them :) it's actually depressing that you haven't gotten to see them :(

I just saw the star of the local production of "Dracula" at the blood bank... Seems pretty suspicious