brixton bell

Fuck off, CBS

“You just need to put yourself out there”
I could also do the opposite of that

Authenticity is dead

getting carted off to an ambulance and the last thing you hear is a guy going "sooo THAT just happened "

feels like the world could really use a loch ness sighting right now

Your request to not make it weird was returned to sender.

this is a post

i no longer fear being forgotten after death as ive already been forgotten cool

hey, thanks for following, you will regret it

selling foot pics in the walmart parking lot

Well well well if it isn't my old friend, emotionally debilitating anxiety

Please do not touch the emotional support skeletons

So cool that whenever someone asks the president, “did you eat the Lindbergh baby” he’s like, “no but I’d be allowed to, I have the right to, I might do it later”

a text to D saying "do you want to come to the urology holiday party"

party themes are getting too niche these days

Lying in bed warm like a corpse before rigamortus sets in.

something tells me the guy who recently started up The Department of War won't be winning the Nobel Peace Prize

what's it like for people who don't have twelve different kinds and cost levels of mexican food available within a stone's throw. i bet it's hard

It’s actually pretty bad for your mental health to know stuff

AMERICA: let’s give $20 billion to Argentina, what is money anyway

ALSO AMERICA: HeaLtHcaRe FoR aLL? wHo iS gOinG to PaY FoR It

Johnny Cash was always cool, what even is this

🎶if you're happy and you know it what's it like

Ashley win saved this wild season!! 🙌 #bb27

Now back to only the constant daily horrors of this abhorrent timeline we’re living thru… shoot me now please

Everything is so stupid

The amount of energy I spend trying to appear normal is next level

My proudest achievement was working a Wayne’s World quote into my maid of honor speech at my sisters wedding 10 years ago if you’re wondering how it’s going

Every morning I rise like a zombie auditioning for a role I don’t want.

they should make a reality that isn’t a living nightmare

I’m into self-improvement as long as it doesn’t require actual effort or feelings.

I see you out there 🖤