Jason

False autumn lulled me into buying a bunch of paving stones for a small patio project this weekend. I am a great fool.

Standing over the stovetop eating the rest of the mashed potatoes directly out of the pan with a wooden spoon like the little piggy I am

There was about two months in the spring of 2023 where that would have been a fine shirt to be seen in but context clues tell me this was long after that

After over twenty years in this house, today I realized the driveway isn't perfectly perpendicular to the garage and my life is RUINED

And you know they're going to raise holy hell when the next president with an ounce of taste has to spend money to remove this

I don't post as much because I dump the brainworms on my wife. You guys just get the leftovers.

Instagram is acting up so I'm not sure how someone my age is supposed to enjoy reposted TikTok content

The basset hound pit bull mix in question, a bigfooted stumpy hippopotamus with a white coat, galloping through some grass

The chihuahua jack russell, smiling at the camera. He is white with brown ears and a brown spot or two. He is approximately the size of a cicada, twice as noisy, and many times more cuddly

You can just mix up a basset hound and a pit bull and get a secret third kind of dog. Or a chihuahua and a jack russell if your lifestyle demamds a smaller pet

That looks like windshield wiper fluid after it was drained from the oilpan it was mistakenly added to. It is the one shade of green Sherwin Williams will not sell you.

No motes are getting past those bad boys

If you are even remotely funny it is just faster to make your own joke and if you're not funny at all then won't your partner be suspicious when you're suddenly sending funny texts

This solves zero problems and creates about seven new ones

Dang I can barely manage my own feelings some days. Well, there goes that dream

Does it matter if I like medical science but don't know enough about it to bs my way through an entire work day?

Kudzu gets a lot of flak for being the plant that ate the South but really it was the crepe myrtle

A tiny white dog with brown spots laying on some of the filthiest carpet you ever did see. He eyes are bugged but his heart is pure.

Here, take a little guy

White House staff are about to order a whole bunch of these

OK sure none of that was ideal but at least he didn't start any unnecessary wars that decimated a region, killed hundreds of thousands, and gave rise to a whole-ass new terrorist network

So what I'm hearing is I need to start working on building a fart app and going bald

Not exactly but I just heard Harambe is still alive so you did something

Y'all pray for me I'm about to start watching the Vandy / Bama episode of the Netflix SEC show

Got the new Netflix layout today and there is yet another UI designer that I want to line up against the wall

By which I mean "dudes who peaked in second grade" and is not meant to indict all second-graders

That is exactly the demographic that should be impressed by Mensa

Fair, but counterpoint: the flamethrower absolutely rules. It is also loud so all the neighbors know you mean business

I got to skip ahead in school and that was a terrible idea. It didn't even take me until to adulthood to figure that out

In about ten years the universe will assign you one random war that you will get REALLY interested in. This cannot be stopped.

happy birthday, hope you have at least six more

Well I hit reply to the wrong post but you know what, I stand by what I said, 32 is simply Too Young for this very serious and grown-up posting app

goddam infants all over this web site I tell you hwhat

Dog Licking its Paws at 3AM (ASMR) - 00:00:00/24:00:00